Delphine Tombola knew from Primary school that the faith she would embrace would need to provide her with a complete and comprehensive way of living. She dabbled with the four major religions and dropped them once they revealed their inherent internal contradictions. Others came and went in clouds of controversy and complications. She explored the thoughts of Yogi and shaman without success. Jediism seemed the answer but when her mentor, a plumber offered to draw her away from the Dark Side through the inappropriate application of his light saber, she moved on.
That’s when she stumbled on the tenets of Veganism, a faith so simplistic yet so all-encompassing that a natural evangelist like Delphine knew she’d found her calling.
She created a new persona, including heraldic shield (turnips sinister entwined around a courgette rampant) and a hairdo best described as ‘distressed kale’.
Her pride was her allotment and her determination to ensure the purity of her vegetables. The compost was free of all animal waste, the power to her shed was vegan-certified and nothing leather was allowed on her little piece of heaven.
It came as something of a shock, therefore when she found out from her neighbour, something of a local historian, that prior to being allotments the site had been an overspill graveyard and while the neighbour assured her all the bodies had been removed she couldn’t shake the idea that some molecule from a decayed deceased might have found its way into one of her beloved potatoes.
It was all too much. She needed something certain, something simple, something that would give her a clear purpose in life. That is why, finally, she gave herself, body and soul to the Leave campaign. After all, she mused over her cocoa, what could be simpler than organizing Brexit?
I’m obviously subliminally affected by our local politics… sorry
TanGental 
Oh dear… Brexit… It’s leaking into everything!!!
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I know, I know. No more. Promise
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My hubby’s cousin from the US was here the other day and he was constantly talking about Brick-Exit… made me giggle every time he said it!
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Are we going for a Jenga- a managed brick exit or a subsidence – a complete dropping out of all masonry
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Sounds like it😂
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Very aptly amusing
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I’m glad if it caused even a small ripple to your lips
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You generally do. Particularly good at the moment.
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Obviously our leaders have run out of cocoa.
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Perhaps something stronger with that, Mrs Should? Strychnine anyone? Oh and Mr Gove apologies for being late but his soup had clotted…
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Worrying times Geoff…………. when we start trusting the Spitting Image Puppets rather than our leaders………………..
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Aren’t they one and the same these days
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probably………….. just watch those hands!
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Lalalalalala fingers in the ears 💜
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Indeed, (other orifices are available)
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Lol💜
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I so want to say: ‘Brexit? What’s Brexit?’ Or ‘What’s Trump done now?’ Great story 🙂
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If only we could imagine it away. Still it creating a lot of story opportunities as our little humdrum political stability eats itself like the bastard child of an ever hungry Labrador and the honey monster
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‘The Decline and Fall of the Great Western Corporate Empire’ ?
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Yep that works
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What could be simpler indeed. Distressed kale hairdos are all the rage in Southern California where in some chi-chi places it is illegal to look over twenty-one and/or own a library card.
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That’s tough. A life of Eternal Audio. Horrid
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*shudder* Sorry, that’s the Brexit reaction.
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Understood
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Maybe the EU mgt would play nicer if y’all offered to take Greece with you?
Whoa! Someone from the Economist just threw their style guide at me,
again. . .
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Yes there’s a thought.
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