Busted #writephoto #flashfiction

Fragrance Pourboire clickety-clacked across the parquet to where Jonas Umbilical waited, camera swinging from his wrist in what was rather too obviously irritation. ‘They’re ready, Jonas.’

‘About time. I haven’t all day just for some publicity shots you know.’

‘Sorry, but it’s… well it’s tricky.’ Fragrance glanced nervously towards the door to the changing rooms. 

Jonas sighed theatrically, his focus on the tripod in front of him. ‘Bunch of prima donnas I suppose? Can’t work out what to wear?’

‘Not exactly…’

Jonas glanced up. ‘Not another set of glamour pics? I think I’ve had enough of bouncing busts for one day…’

‘Well, there are a couple of busts but they’re not bouncing.’

Jonas nodded knowingly, his attention now trained on the lighting. ‘Been enhanced, have they? Goodness knows why they bother getting them enlarged. Makes them look completely unnatural if you ask me, like they’ve been turned to..’ He stopped, his mouth dropping open. ‘…stone.’

Fragrance turned and  followed his gaze. Slowly, indeed almost imperceptibly the next group of models began to emerge from the door at the far end of the hall. If their movements were laboured – ‘glacial’ was the word that popped into Fragrance’s head – the accompanying noise was deep and continuous.

Jonas was quickly by her side. ‘What the f… flip? Are they… statues?’

‘Technically they’re Caryatids and Atlantids…’

‘You what?’

‘They’re supports.’

‘Geez. I’d hate to see the main act. Is there a stage strong enough to hold them?’

Fragrance tutted and moved towards the first sculpture, a marble Adonis holding a red rose. ‘Shall I hold that?’

With mirco movements, but a sound like a cliff collapsing the enormous figure stretched out its arm and gently dropped the flower into Fragrance’s hand. A single tear emerged from the blank eye and bobbled across the scratched cheek.

‘You ok?’ As soon as she spoke, Fragrance regretted speaking as the monument began the laborious and essentially destructive process of nodding. Both Jason and Fragrance watched in growing horror as the head at first shook and then detached from the  unfeasibly muscled torso before dropping with a crash to the wooden floor and then rolling with almost deliberate care into the centre of the floodlit arena where all the cameras pointed.

Jason sighed and moved to his customary position. ‘You were right, weren’t you?’

‘Sorry?’ Fragrance glanced at the photographer, confused.

‘You told me the busts weren’t of the bouncing kind.’ He pointed his camera. ‘Ok,darling,’ he addressed the head, ‘can we ditch the tears and crack a smile?’

Sue Vincent’s latest prompt for her #writephoto series is..

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published two anthologies of short stories, Life, in a Grain of Sand and Life in a Flash. More will appear soon, including a memoir of my mother's last years. I will try and continue to blog regularly at geofflepard.com about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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17 Responses to Busted #writephoto #flashfiction

  1. Ritu says:

    Too funny!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is so good!!! 😃

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sue Vincent says:

    That last line was just mean 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I want to know what the note says ………..

    Liked by 1 person

  5. willowdot21 says:

    Crack a smile 💜💜

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Norah says:

    Your humour cracks me up – and the statues too! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Mick Canning says:

    Great last line, Geoff!

    Liked by 1 person

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