Dog hairs and spare rooms: a thought.

One downside to having furry pets is they like to share their coats. From time to time one of us has to pick up the pet hair remover and go attack the carpets where the pets might be found. Which is pretty much anywhere because whatever we might like to think they are no respecter of rules. Downstairs is worse than up, and the sewing room worse than the living room. I’d always thought that was because of the type of pile.

That was until the other day and I was the designated remover-in-chief. I’d managed downstairs and had done the hall carpet when I had a choice: main bedroom or spare. I went for the spare first. And to my surprise there were none.

Which made me wonder at the sanctity of the spare room.

Now the first thing to note is we are lucky enough to live in a  house that is large enough to have a room that we can honestly say is a spare  bedroom and not some sort of general box-study-store room that can be cleared out if we have guests. It just gets used by guests and in the 28 odd years we’ve lived here it’s played inner sanctum to parents, other family members, friends from all our walks of life, people who’ve stayed to look after the pets when we’ve been away, our children and their friends. Many of those staying have been couples.

And then this thought hit me. Don’t judge. Did any of them have sex in their time there?

The room is right next door to our bedroom and while the walls aren’t thin you’d not necessarily know that unless you’d checked. And if you didn’t check, would you run the risk of some aural evidence of rumpty-tumpty disturbing us?

I’m not sure who’d have that level of confidence. I mean I’m sure I’d not feel comfortable.

And does that make me an intimidating host? Or a naive one?

As I stood there, hair remover in hand, I decided that no, no one would. I can only go on personal experience but if there was one surefire way to ensure celibacy it was to share a roof with my parents. Or where there could be an embarrassing interface over breakfast. That sort of thing was the contraceptive equivalent of the Bugblatter beast of Traal and a towel; the safest way to survive an attack from said beast was to pull a towel over your head since in his mind, if you couldn’t see him then it must be that he couldn’t see you and he would stop his attack. So if I couldn’t do it then no one else could.

But that didn’t explain why the pets didn’t use the spare room to shed their fur? Unless there was a link. Only there couldn’t be a link? Could there? I mean, if there was, then what on earth had been going on in the sewing room?

Yes so, ok, this was just an excuse to put up cute pictures of the pets… I’m not proud…

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published two anthologies of short stories, Life, in a Grain of Sand and Life in a Flash. More will appear soon, including a memoir of my mother's last years. I will try and continue to blog regularly at geofflepard.com about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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34 Responses to Dog hairs and spare rooms: a thought.

  1. Ritu says:

    You were definitely being an opportunist with this post!
    Tenuous links indeed… But cute pics!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. willowdot21 says:

    Well that’s set my mind boggling! Love that last photo 💜
    Ps. Ruby says what excellent teeth dog has 💜 and she likes the day too 💜

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Juli Hoffman says:

    The lack of pet hair is probably due to the fact that you don’t go in the spare room that often. I know my pets tend to follow me around the house from room to room, with the majority of pet hair clinging to the furniture I use. I’m like the sun in our house. ALL of the pets seem to revolve around me. LOL

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Your scent is not in the spare room. The animals have no comforting reasons to go in there. Great shots. Love the teeth!! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  5. One reason I’d never have a dog, lol.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Rowena says:

    Hey, I think they’re following the Kettle chips. My Geoff noted that all three dogs were parked around my feet while I was cooking. The pups aren’t regulars and they’re nowhere near as food focused as Lady. However, they know I’m a messy cook and tidbits almost fall on the floor and I have been known to give them the scraps then and there, rather than putting them in their bowls like I’m supposed to.
    As for the spare room situation, I think most of us had friends when we were younger, who were like dogs peeing on every tree they find. It’s like they’re trying to set some kind of record for the number of places they’ve done it and they don’t care if they get caught. Indeed, that could be their intent. Yes, I’d say that’s true of one particular couple and they’re still married. I won’t give them your address!
    We don’t have spare anything in this house atm. Actually, we do have too much stuff and plenty spare in that department, just not the room. Couldn’t even find room for a Christmas tree this year, and also figured the pups would chew up the ornaments as well.
    Merry Christmas to you and yours and a wonderful New Year and may peace continue to reign furless in the spare room.
    Best wishes,
    Ro

    Like

  7. Maggie’s fur gets everywhere, and she’s shedding terribly at the moment. Despite a good brushing and what seemed like enough fur to make another dog, when she moved off her bed there was a great wad of fur just lying there. It goes with the territory of ownership.
    Lovely photos.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I’d never thought of it before, but clearly the commenters are correct and (oh dear) it has nothing to do with sex it’s just that your pets love being where you and the Textiliste are – and who wouldn’t! I’m off to enjoy First Christmas……..

    Liked by 1 person

  9. The most shocking think about this post is that you are tucking into a large bag of Kettle chips EACH!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Dog doesn’t look cute nicking the chips

    Liked by 1 person

  11. We have hair that follows us around. Liked the Kettle chips and the dog dental display.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. arlingwoman says:

    Well, it’s been said already, but they follow you around. If nobody’s in that room much, and it doesn’t provide a nice view or perch, then they don’t go there. Goodness, was Dog defending the chips?

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Seems everyone agrees with me. 🙂 Your furry family will go to the rooms with your scents in them. They have no interest in any other. You are obviously quite well loved from the looks of things. Nothing’s better than that. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  14. pjlazos says:

    Haha! I did the same thing on my blog last week with the cute pet pics. You just have to sometimes. :0)

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Widdershins says:

    Perhaps it’s best not to know. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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