I have been rewriting some of the Nation’s favourite poems (I take the first line, and after that anything goes) and this one, based on Sir John Betjeman’s Christmas (no. 70 in the BBC’s top 100) is for those of you struggling to make sense of this particular time of year.
The bells of waiting Advent ring
And still I sit and stare
They say it’s calling to the King
But do I really care?
Maybe once there was a point
To all this mumbo jumbo
Now it’s mammon we anoint,
Like some plastic bearing Dumbo
At school we’d spend the hours and days
Rehearsing the nativity
These days it really doesn’t pay
To expose our base naïveté.
Santa has been Disneyfied
And the only snow is fake
And charity ends up vilified
Since we must be on the make.
So what’s the point of Christmas time
We have to ask ourselves
Surely it’s more than a cheesy rhyme
Sung by some plastic elves?
It’s time we took back full control
Of all to do with Xmas
We need to hold a people’s poll
And get out the vote for Brexmas
This poem was in part inspired by Stevie Turner’s request for our Christmas poems, here