This appeared as a guest thingy by me on Sally Cronin’s blog last Sunday. Some of you my nit have seen it. Shame on you but still, here it is. It’s another one of those ‘ruin a good poem’ ideas I’m working on just now.
‘Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
The only sound to be heard
Was the old man, who’d grouse
‘Why is it my job
To play Santa each year
And eat the raw carrot
That’s left out for his deer?
While you get the sherry
And another mince tart
Knowing they’ll wake me
Before a sparrow can fart.’
‘You are such a whinge,’
Said the lady in charge,
‘For tomorrow we know
You’ll give it so large.
And over indulge
On turkey and stuffing
And after the Queen
You’ll be good for nuffing.’
‘That isn’t quite fair
Oh light of my life
Since I will shoulder
My share of the strife
That having your mother
To lunch will entail
As we all know that
By five and without fail
She will surely hold court
In front of the fire
Airing complaints
Of which she’ll not tire.’
‘Now hang on a mo,
Your dad ain’t much better.’
‘At least his moaning
Is confined to a letter.’
‘Oh husband, my love
Let’s us try and stay calm
And ride out the worst
Of these Christmas storms.
It’s only one day
Out of three sixty five
That one way or another
We just have to survive
And then we’ll go back
To life as before….’
‘And before we know it
It’s Christmas once more.’
TanGental 
Ah yes, MIL for Christmas. She complained we would not turn on the TV so that she could watch her soaps. Two things here, we never watched soaps and when we had company, the TV stayed off. She whinged and sulked and finally demanded that if the TV wasn’t turned on, she wanted to go home. I got her coat and Hubby got the car keys.
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well done! One day, if I’m brave enough I’ll blog about my MIL. She is ‘a one’ as the saying has it…
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I’ve already done a few posts about her. The best concerns candy floss and a maypole
https://pensitivity101.wordpress.com/2014/03/02/a-maypole-candy-floss-and-mother-in-law/
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Ha. Just read it and left a comment. Maybe we should start a self help group.
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Thanks Geoff.
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Yep, its a day to be endured. I believe in this case the original poem has been improved in many ways. The plot is certainly more plausible and relatable. I suggest the old grump regift the raw carrot if he doesn’t want it.
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I think that is probably the politest of the suggestions he would have made about the re-purposing of said root veg…
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Fantastic, Geoff!
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thanks Rebecca…
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Christmas comes but once a year…
Thank goodness!💜💜💜💜
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Phew!
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Absolutely loved it!
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Ah, family holiday gatherings…
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Never to be underestimated
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There is something to be said for a nuclear family gathering….. I’m so looking forward to the MiL stories 🙂
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If only I was brave enough….
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probably best not to tempt fate – that could be the one post the Textiliste decides to read……..
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Yes. It’s such a rich vein of material too.
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A pseudonym perhaps?
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Why, may I ask, did you not submit this for the contest last week?
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Erm… sorry miss!
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Ah, the joys of family gatherings, Geoff. Funny! ‘And before we know it, it’s Christmas once more!’ I’m starting my shopping for 2020!
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My Nana loved the January sales (it’s a thing here, like black friday without the civilised queuing) becasue she could buy the next year’s Xmas pressies. Groan.
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Love it!
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Thank you
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Ha ha really enjoyed reading it. Kudos for regaling me thoughtfully. If you have time do visit my poem Here
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Very impressive. Thanks for the link
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