Building Woes #flashfiction

Mr ‘ansel? Bad news I’m afraid.’

‘Again? Do you builders ever bring good news?’

‘In Fairyland? You’ll want a happy ending next. It’s the gingerbread cladding…’

‘Yes? Has the cost gone up?’

‘I can’t get any, even with a sack of giant’s beans. You’ll have to make do with carrot or pumpkin.’

‘No way. You heard what happened with that Ella woman?’

‘Cinders?’

‘That’s the one. Her godmother turned the town’s allotment into transport. No one’s changing my house into a veggie vehicle. Where’s the gingerbread gone?’

‘It’s that caterpillar, gone for partially peckish to very hungry and…’ *shrugs

This little piece secured a HM in the ‘Fractured fairy tales’ competition at the Carrot Ranch. #mostpleased

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published three anthologies of short stories and a memoir of my mother. More will appear soon. I will try and continue to blog regularly at geofflepard.com about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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25 Responses to Building Woes #flashfiction

  1. Rowena says:

    Congratulations and well done, Geoffle. I’m sitting here in the middle of the night winding down with my cup of decaf tea before going to bed and thought I’d catch up on a few of your posts. We’ve had a big weekend with my daughter’s dance concert yesterday and I played Danny Boy on my violin at the music concert today. The concerts took up most of the weekend, which was great in terms of entertainment but also much behind the scenes for all of this and it’s a relief that its done and dusted as well. The weather is heating up here, rather like an oven. How is it going over there? Hope you’ve had a great weekend.
    Best wishes,
    Ro

    Liked by 1 person

    • TanGental says:

      Loved the pics of your daughter in that email. She’s going to be quite a stunner. And does she do tap, too. We have a family friend who belongs to a professional tap troupe (she’s also an Astro physicist as a day job I kid you not). It’s a fun old world this dancing lark

      Liked by 1 person

      • Rowena says:

        Thanks, Geoff. I wanted to share those photos with you, as you’ve been such a part of my online world and yet we’ve never met in person and that helps to bridge the gap.
        I am quite intrigued by your family friend who is a tapper and an astrophysicist. Miss has wanted to be an astrophysicist quite seriously for the last three years and has a strong mind with a maths and science bend. However, as time goes by, this dancing side and her immersion in the performing arts seems so strong and I never see any interest in space, although she tells me it’s still there.
        There are probably a lot of people out there who combine these seeming incongruities and it’s helpful to extend our social network to hear about them. Does your friend have a Facebook page I could pass onto Miss? She’d be stoked.
        By the way, our first Christmas beetle just flew into my office like an alien spaceship crashing by the window. It’s sounding like a sickly electric razor. Don’t know whether you get them in the UK but you certainly wouldn’t be getting them this time of year.
        Don’t know whether you’re reading your way through Solveig’s calendar. I made a contribution re Silent Night and yesterday’s by Gary Wilson dealt with a Winter Christmas problem and I responded with our Summer Christmas holiday crisis from a few years back.
        Hope you have a great week.
        A friend and I are off to see our school friend with Motor Neurone Disease tomorrow. She’s in hospital and had extensive surgery a few weeks ago to prolong her life, which included removing her voice box.
        Even though I am quite accustomed to spending time with profound physical disabilities and on all sorts of equipment to stay alive through my involvement with Muscular Dystrophy Association, it’s quite a different thing to see your childhood friend go through something like this. She is a fabulous advocate…a an associate professor of Sociology at Sydney Uni, she’s turned her attentions onto finding a cure and support for the disease. Here’s a link to something she wrote about her decision to keep living with MND. I think you’ll appreciate it: https://www.dropbox.com/s/d72mp4t289wv1v5/On%20Deciding%20to%20Keep%20Living%20with%20MND.pdf?dl=0
        Best wishes,
        Ro

        Like

      • TanGental says:

        Goodness, doesn’t it hit when these things happen to school friends… Sarah and her troop are on FB the Satin Dollz. She’s dance captain, Satin Kiti And is the redhead. She’s the girlfriend of one of the Vets best buddies and a close family friend. She works for the UK Atomic Energy Authority when not tapping. https://www.instagram.com/p/BrOU7Lhg5so/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=10jf3xpaka3lo this is from her instagram page if you stretch that far

        Like

  2. Darlene says:

    A very cute story indeed. Well deserving of an HM.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ritu says:

    Very funny! And congrats!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. arlingwoman says:

    Congratulations! I got a good laugh from this one. That caterpillar…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. A most interesting piece, Geoff. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I see you know your fairy tales and the very hungry caterpillar too 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Enjoyed the story, Geoff. Had to laugh out loud at the “Cinders,” nickname. Would be something a workman would say.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. JT Twissel says:

    Veggie vehicle indeed! I love Fracture Fairytales!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Charli Mills says:

    Congratulations on your Hon Men, Geoff!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Norah says:

    Congratulations on your HM, Geoff. Good story.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Imaginative and funny, Geoff. Congratulations! Well done indeed.

    Liked by 1 person

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