Garden Lore

Odd this. I was weeding the garden and this chap popped out of a geranium. He was a bit muddy, blinked a bit.

’Oh. Can you see me?’

‘I can see a lizard. Are you…?’


‘Not a lizard?’

‘Pfft. Remember ..

It’s so cool

that Lizards lounge

on the ground

But cute newts

Like to ablut

In a pool

’But you weren’t in a pool.’

‘It’s just a bloody poem. Geez haven’t you heard of poetic licence? If you want biological accuracy count the front toes.’


‘Yes, toes.’

‘Erm what…?’

‘Oh give me strength…

Everyone knows

There are five toes

On every single lizard

While a newt’s got four

On each front paw

Which is kinda wizard’


‘Did you like it?’



‘Stick to swimming.’

‘Cheeky biped.’




About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published three anthologies of short stories and a memoir of my mother. More will appear soon. I will try and continue to blog regularly at about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
This entry was posted in gardening, miscellany, poems, poetry and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to Garden Lore

  1. Mick Canning says:

    Sounds as though it was a bit pissed…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. willowdot21 says:

    This is lovely, poems and photo 💜💜

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Excellent Geoff. Nice to know the difference between a Newt and Lizard. So educational. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Always makes me smile. Well done, again!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. We had lizards and newts as kids, and I never knew about the toes! Duh!!!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ritu says:

    Well… I learned something new there!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Darlene says:

    I thought it was a gecko!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Leaping Lizards – or newts….. educated over morning coffee!! And two excellent ditties which could become primary school staples in nature studies class if they still did it…… Norah might be interested……

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I’m going to hear each lizard I come across saying, “Cheeky biped” now.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Elizabeth says:

    I think I would have screamed. Not in fear, just in surprise.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. It raises “pick on someone your own size” to a new level…

    Liked by 1 person

  12. robbiecheadle says:

    Where is that laughing like button on WP when I need it.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Pingback: With The Going Out Of The Tide #writephoto #flashfiction | TanGental

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