Sue Vincent’s prompt this week is this

‘And you’ve thought this for how long?’

‘Eons.’

‘Eons?’

‘’Yes. Several eons. Many. More than a handful. A heck of a lot…’

‘Yes, got it. For eons…’

‘Lots of..’

‘Lots of eons you’ve believed yourself to be..’

‘I am stone.’

‘You consider yourself to be a stone.’

‘No. I’m stone.’

‘Mr. Pavement…’

‘Rock…’

‘Rock, you’re a forty something white male who…’

‘You see, I knew you’d say that. You can’t see it, can you?’

‘See what?’

‘My strata.’

‘Those a wrinkles, loose flesh. Part of the normal impact of ageing on the elasticity of skin.’

‘You need to open your eyes, Doctor.’

‘You need to get yours tested.’

‘Sorry?’

‘Look, let’s accept – for the sake of argument only – that you’re a rock…’

‘My name is Rock. My species is a stone.’

‘Stone’s aren’t a species they’re… they’re…’

‘Exactly.’

‘They’re geological. Igneous. Metamorphic. Sedentary.’

‘You mean sedimentary.’

‘Looking at you I think I was right first time.’

‘Charming. Just because I don’t move much, doesn’t make me sedentary.’

‘So why are you here?’

‘I’m a standing stone.’

‘Keeping in mind this is just a thought experiment, why are you a standing stone?’

‘I don’t like rolling. No sorry, that was a little joke. I’m a homage stone.’

‘Go on.’

‘You don’t believe me.’

‘Put yourself in my position, for a moment. I get a call telling me there’s this … this… you have taken up residence on the moor, buried up to your knees in sand and covered in lichen. Everyone has tried to talk you down without success so it’s my turn. When I ask why you say you’re a homage stone. That’s a new one on me so perhaps you might explain.’

‘If I do will you leave me alone?’

‘All I can promise is I will report back. It’s up to the park authorities what happens next.’

‘They’ll not get rid of me. They can’t go digging me up.’

‘Not my call. So homage…?’

‘Yes, right. See, there was a stone circle here, once and someone removed one of the standing stones. Tragic it was so over time I came to realise it is my calling to replace it, and so re-complete the circle. I’m a homage to the Stone That Was.’

‘According to the records, there were three missing stones.’

‘Exactly. There are three of us. Basalt…’

‘Basil?’

‘Hello, I’m Basalt!’

‘Slate…’

‘Kate?’

‘That’s me! Slate.’

‘And me. Rock.’

‘Geez, you’re all bonkers.’

‘Now look here. We’re not doing any harm. We’re meeting a need. We’re correcting a wrong…’

‘You’re three middle aged men who…’

‘I’m not…!’

‘Sorry… two men and a woman, dressed up in painted polystyrene stuck in the ground in an area of outstanding natural beauty who are pretending to be Rocks…’

‘Don’t you believe in diversity?’

‘You’re not rocks…’

‘We’re presenting as land formations. We’re entitled to call ourselves what we want to. Who are you to decide?’

‘Ok, ok. You’re a couple of shovelfuls short of a gravel trap but I’ll make my report and then the park authorities will implement plan B.’

‘Plan B?’

‘Yes, didn’t I say? Tomorrow the first school trip will be allowed in. Teenagers. I understand that they’re going to be encouraged to scratch their messages on the rocks. A new approach to art.’

‘But…’

‘Of course if you were human that would be assault, but really it’s just a little light graffiti.’

‘But you can’t let them do that?’

‘Live and let live. That’s what I say.’