Between A Rock And A Hard Place #writephoto #flashfiction

Sue Vincent’s prompt this week is this

‘And you’ve thought this for how long?’

‘Eons.’

‘Eons?’

‘’Yes. Several eons. Many. More than a handful. A heck of a lot…’

‘Yes, got it. For eons…’

‘Lots of..’

‘Lots of eons you’ve believed yourself to be..’

‘I am stone.’

‘You consider yourself to be a stone.’

‘No. I’m stone.’

‘Mr. Pavement…’

‘Rock…’

‘Rock, you’re a forty something white male who…’

‘You see, I knew you’d say that. You can’t see it, can you?’

‘See what?’

‘My strata.’

‘Those a wrinkles, loose flesh. Part of the normal impact of ageing on the elasticity of skin.’

‘You need to open your eyes, Doctor.’

‘You need to get yours tested.’

‘Sorry?’

‘Look, let’s accept – for the sake of argument only – that you’re a rock…’

‘My name is Rock. My species is a stone.’

‘Stone’s aren’t a species they’re… they’re…’

‘Exactly.’

‘They’re geological. Igneous. Metamorphic. Sedentary.’

‘You mean sedimentary.’

‘Looking at you I think I was right first time.’

‘Charming. Just because I don’t move much, doesn’t make me sedentary.’

‘So why are you here?’

‘I’m a standing stone.’

‘Keeping in mind this is just a thought experiment, why are you a standing stone?’

‘I don’t like rolling. No sorry, that was a little joke. I’m a homage stone.’

‘Go on.’

‘You don’t believe me.’

‘Put yourself in my position, for a moment. I get a call telling me there’s this … this… you have taken up residence on the moor, buried up to your knees in sand and covered in lichen. Everyone has tried to talk you down without success so it’s my turn. When I ask why you say you’re a homage stone. That’s a new one on me so perhaps you might explain.’

‘If I do will you leave me alone?’

‘All I can promise is I will report back. It’s up to the park authorities what happens next.’

‘They’ll not get rid of me. They can’t go digging me up.’

‘Not my call. So homage…?’

‘Yes, right. See, there was a stone circle here, once and someone removed one of the standing stones. Tragic it was so over time I came to realise it is my calling to replace it, and so re-complete the circle. I’m a homage to the Stone That Was.’

‘According to the records, there were three missing stones.’

‘Exactly. There are three of us. Basalt…’

‘Basil?’

‘Hello, I’m Basalt!’

‘Slate…’

‘Kate?’

‘That’s me! Slate.’

‘And me. Rock.’

‘Geez, you’re all bonkers.’

‘Now look here. We’re not doing any harm. We’re meeting a need. We’re correcting a wrong…’

‘You’re three middle aged men who…’

‘I’m not…!’

‘Sorry… two men and a woman, dressed up in painted polystyrene stuck in the ground in an area of outstanding natural beauty who are pretending to be Rocks…’

‘Don’t you believe in diversity?’

‘You’re not rocks…’

‘We’re presenting as land formations. We’re entitled to call ourselves what we want to. Who are you to decide?’

‘Ok, ok. You’re a couple of shovelfuls short of a gravel trap but I’ll make my report and then the park authorities will implement plan B.’

‘Plan B?’

‘Yes, didn’t I say? Tomorrow the first school trip will be allowed in. Teenagers. I understand that they’re going to be encouraged to scratch their messages on the rocks. A new approach to art.’

‘But…’

‘Of course if you were human that would be assault, but really it’s just a little light graffiti.’

‘But you can’t let them do that?’

‘Live and let live. That’s what I say.’

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published two anthologies of short stories, Life, in a Grain of Sand and Life in a Flash. More will appear soon, including a memoir of my mother's last years. I will try and continue to blog regularly at geofflepard.com about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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19 Responses to Between A Rock And A Hard Place #writephoto #flashfiction

  1. Ritu says:

    Gigglesome again! Where do you get these ideas???

    Liked by 1 person

  2. willowdot21 says:

    I am quite sure that Sue will really appreciate this one Geoff she has a special affinity with standing stones and stone circles. Great story Geoff thorougly believable! 💜

    Liked by 1 person

  3. When is a rock not a rock? When it’s a standing stone. I studied the pic and thought ‘that stone is going to have something to say’ – but still I was nowhere near that little masterpiece. Though the shrink was unnecessarily unkind I thought ……

    Liked by 1 person

  4. ellenbest24 says:

    Such a clever sod … oh know, none were turf begging my pardon. 😃😂😁

    Liked by 1 person

  5. JT Twissel says:

    Rocks have feelings too – bonkers though they might be! ; )

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ha ha, Geoff, very good.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Pingback: Between A Rock And A Hard Place ~ Geoff Le Pard #writephoto | Sue Vincent's Daily Echo

  8. Pingback: Photo prompt round-up – Stone #writephoto | Sue Vincent's Daily Echo

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