In Which No Vegetables Were Harmed #poem #poetry #theladyofshallot

To continue my series of poems based on famous first lines, this time I’ve chosen the Nation’s second most favoured poem from the BBC’s poll of ten years or so ago: The Lady Of Shallot by Alfred, Lord Tennyson. If you don’t know it, please find it here.

In Which No Vegetables Were Harmed

‘On either side the river lie’

Begins this poem, by and by

He tells us as we pass them by

On summer days, those young men sigh

And dream of love and chicken pie

Which we like a bit, but not a lot.

It’s such a drippy thing, you see

This traipsing o’er field and lea

And still we’re home in time for tea;

But the toilet’s blocked, I need a wee

And what’s the point of rhymes if the

Poet is losing the bloody plot.


I’m well aware that some may cuss, 

Call me stupid, ignoramus

And wish me fall under a bus.

I’ll stand my ground; I’m no wuss

I’m quite prepared to make a fuss

But all in all, I’d rather not. 

I don’t need numpty’s to tell me why

Tennyson was one of those guys

For whom Shallots aren’t found in pies;

I can see it with my own eyes

Written large across the skies.

I’m really not an uncultured clot.

It maybe skill that I lack

I’m just another poetry hack

But at least I do have a crack

Even if it might sometimes smack

Of desperation. And I’ll back

Myself against the smartest Bot.

Any day.

Images of Dog and the garden today. London is hot…

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline. I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy. I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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23 Responses to In Which No Vegetables Were Harmed #poem #poetry #theladyofshallot

  1. Ooh, this verse is making me choose which I like better… Dog or it. (grrrr) 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Crack and Bot in the same verse?

    Liked by 3 people

  3. sherylc6060 says:

    At least you do have a crack. Bravo!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Erika Kind says:

    Too funny, Geoff!! Enjoy the weather!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Having a crack is better than not, and, the crack, you know, is where the light gets in – so said Leonard Cohen! It may be hot, but Milo looks SO happy!! And the garden is a delight!! And the poem made me happy…..

    Liked by 1 person

  6. LucciaGray says:

    Lovely pictures. I’m not sure I got all the humour, it’s late and I’m feeling dense…
    So glad it’s summer in London. I think you missed out last year.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Charli Mills says:

    Meanderings around the gardens and Tennyson, and still Dog steals the show.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Cherilyn says:

    I loved it, very funny. And that is a most adorable Dog too. Stay cool over there (says I, over in Ohio in the U.S.)

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Widdershins says:

    Bravo, sir. Bravo! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Losing the Plot says:

    how could I not love this lol!


  11. willowdot21 says:

    Very nice Geoff, lived the photos too💜💜

    Liked by 1 person

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