To continue my series of poems based on famous first lines, this time I’ve chosen the Nation’s second most favoured poem from the BBC’s poll of ten years or so ago: The Lady Of Shallot by Alfred, Lord Tennyson. If you don’t know it, please find it here.
In Which No Vegetables Were Harmed
‘On either side the river lie’
Begins this poem, by and by
He tells us as we pass them by
On summer days, those young men sigh
And dream of love and chicken pie
Which we like a bit, but not a lot.
It’s such a drippy thing, you see
This traipsing o’er field and lea
And still we’re home in time for tea;
But the toilet’s blocked, I need a wee
And what’s the point of rhymes if the
Poet is losing the bloody plot.
I’m well aware that some may cuss,
Call me stupid, ignoramus
And wish me fall under a bus.
I’ll stand my ground; I’m no wuss
I’m quite prepared to make a fuss
But all in all, I’d rather not.
I don’t need numpty’s to tell me why
Tennyson was one of those guys
For whom Shallots aren’t found in pies;
I can see it with my own eyes
Written large across the skies.
I’m really not an uncultured clot.
It maybe skill that I lack
I’m just another poetry hack
But at least I do have a crack
Even if it might sometimes smack
Of desperation. And I’ll back
Myself against the smartest Bot.
Images of Dog and the garden today. London is hot…