It’s a Dog-gone Conclusion

We are a pet house. Two ancient cats inhabit the top of the boiler or the sofa back, next to the TV. An even more ancient tortoise roams a flower bed, doing… not very much, in return for some grapes and cucumber.

Neither cat is much interested in my lap though they moan enough if we don’t provide food when expected. They’re nice enough, so far as indifferent hair balls go.

And then there’s Dog.  He’s a rescue dog, the second we’ve been lucky enough to live with. I could list his attributes, his foibles, the things that irk me and the things that make me putty in his paws. In truth his only irksome characteristic is his inclination – more visceral need – to greet every visitor to a volley of barking that has any delivery person back pedalling from our front door as fast as a Dog rushes towards it. It’s positively Newtonian, this each action has an equal and opposite reaction.

While I could wax lyrical on the subject of Dog specifically, today I want to consider dogs as a species make the case for them being the second most intelligent, intuitive species on this little lump of rock we inhabit.

My posit is that humans, for all their stupidities and senseless behaviours are the most intelligent and intuitive when measured against a range of parameters. You may not agree.

But what about second place?

I have read thesis and seen a number of programmes, making the case that other primates are the runners up.  Or dolphins. Or Crows or jackdaws. Or Parrots. Or Elephants. I’ve no doubt there are wackos out there building a case for the meerkat, based on its ability to corner the insurance advertisement market.

Wrong, all wrong, all of you. Well, all of you who don’t have the dog in second place by a margin, at least the length of a street of lamp posts.

Dogs do not have opposable thumbs. They cannot pick things up easily. Their language is relatively simplistic. They don’t clean up after themselves. They have yet to invade Iraq. Or type Shakespeare.

But which species has found its place closest to we humans such that we have rescue centres for them? Even more than cats. That we share our homes with?. Which species do we work the fields and mountains with? Which do we trust with some of the most vulnerable members of our community as sensing dogs (hint: it’s in the label)? Which species have we bred over thousands of years to perform a myriad of roles in support of our dominance of the planet and who still adapt to modern needs, be it forewarning of strokes or epilepsy or sniffing our drugs?

DOGS. None of the above listed.

OK, most of the others are more independently minded. They know better than to snuggle up to us. Ha! Dumb-asses.

Dogs know who’ll fill their bowls, keep them warm, keep them safe, give them medical care and mourn their passing. And clean up after them, as we only really do for our children, the cunning little critters.

So yes, Dog, you might look worried because I’ve sussed your game. I can be hard-nosed, you know. I could stop all this kowtowing, just like that. In an instant. At the snap of my fingers, in the blink of an eye, in a heart beat. Now stop that. Don’t look like that. No, come here. I didn’t mean it. Come on. Come to daddy’s lap….

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published two anthologies of short stories, Life, in a Grain of Sand and Life in a Flash. More will appear soon, including a memoir of my mother's last years. I will try and continue to blog regularly at geofflepard.com about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
This entry was posted in dogs, humour, miscellany, thought piece and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

45 Responses to It’s a Dog-gone Conclusion

  1. JT Twissel says:

    Awwww – doggone cute I’d say!

    Like

  2. Ritu says:

    That is just so cute 🐺

    Like

  3. sherylc6060 says:

    They are so smart! They knew how incredibly gullible we humans were and decided to enslave us to do their bidding. Why hunt went you can get a human to feed you? Why be cold when they will knit you a sweater….

    Liked by 2 people

  4. jennilepard says:

    So much eye candy in one post!! Loved this one 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh how I love dogs, even my crazy, farty husky dog, Jack.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Boy, oh boy, looks like my kinda place… Hugs, kisses, fur babies and love everywhere. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. stevetanham says:

    Crackin’ video, Geoff.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Erika Kind says:

    Aw, so sweet and so much fun for dog and for you!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I do enjoy your doggy stories 🙂 We will have the pleasure of all three species during a housesit in Italy next year, though there will be 3 tortoises instead of 1. Will be interesting!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. You know I agree! And of course my little fella is the smartest of them all. He has taught me to read ‘eyebrow & glances’ which I didn’t even know was a language! I see Milo has a feeling of dismay when there is a cat between him and his man. Cats so often tend to go in for the passive aggressive form of torment when it comes to dogs. Milo and Siddy clearly have the same reaction to anyone coming to the door – an unexpected, totally adored human being has come to see them to be licked to death…… It’s deafening and sometimes very funny.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. willowdot21 says:

    Where would we be without our dogs 💜💜

    Liked by 1 person

  12. 😊 couldn’t be without a dog or 2. Wonderful creatures, humans on the other hand, not so wonderful, well some are I suppose 😊 love the picky’s & video 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  13. tidalscribe says:

    Dogs rather than cats any day. Now if we lived in the sea with whales and dolphins we would think they were the smartest and it’s a good bet that it is only the lack of an opposable thumb in many species from pigs to crows that has stopped them building skyscrapers and playing musical instruments and of course birds rememebr the tunes without having to write music.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Mary Smith says:

    I have a cat who thinks humans are an abomination on the planet (she accepts we’re necessary in order to provide food and treats but there’s no need to cuddle her) so I feel quite jealous of your relationship with Dog.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Miriam says:

    Aww Dog obviously adores you! And you’re so right, our canines really have infiltrated our lives haven’t they. What would we do without them? 🙂

    Like

  16. Dogs are well ahead of humans in emotional intelligence

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Loved meeting all the pets, Geoff — especially the kitties. Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Couldn’t agree more. Where would I be without my three? I mean two. I forgot that the third is human. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Elizabeth says:

    Now I am waiting for a post about that tortoise.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Charli Mills says:

    Dog is the best! How the critters can boost our days and lighten our loads with just the tilt of a head or attack of the garden gloves.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. noelleg44 says:

    Dog has obviously won your heart – they have a tendency to do that. I am still missing our Angel, who despite being needy, was such a love. I recently read that overall, dogs are smarter than cats, so that substantiates your conclusion in part. I have always been a cat person, mainly because I like their independence and we’ve had some pretty darn smart cats over the years. Our current orange express, Garfield, is a grape short of a fruit salad, but he makes us laugh every day with his brainless antics. And yes, he is awash in fur balls (mats) which I seem to be cutting off him regularly – but his hair is so long you can’t see where I’ve cut!

    Liked by 1 person

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