Another Day, Another Decapitation

‘What do we have, Waldron?’ Detective Inspector Plummet pulled on his latex gloves and peered at the body.

‘Same M.O. as the others, sir. Drowned. In his own blood.’

‘Usual calling card?’

‘Yes. Fourteen rubber ducks, floating in the gore.’

Plummet shook his head. ‘Nothing else? No clue why the ducks, I suppose?’

‘The profiler wonders if the perp is cockney?’

‘Cockney?’

‘Visual rhyming slang. Rubber Duck, F…’

‘Is that the best he can do?’ Plummet hadn’t ever felt so tired. ‘Any further success identifying the type of duck? They look very specific.’

‘It’s an anas, sir.’

‘An anus? You’re kidding me?’

‘Very drole, sir.’

Plummet looked at the scene: a public space, always busy and yet someone had managed to decapitate a body and create a pool with bloody bath toys in it. ‘This guy’s like some sort of apparition. It’s unreal.’

‘We wonder if that’s the message. No matter what we think, it has to be supernatural. Unsinkable rubber ducks. We’ll never prove it is anything else.’

Plummet picked up a duck and pulled out a penknife. He slide it into the plastic and pushed it into the liquid. Bubbles frothed at the side as it gradually sank. ‘Not so clever, is he?’

Waldron pointed at the blood. ‘Sir?’

The submerged duck had bobbed to the surface, a grin plastered over its face.

Plummet shook his head. ‘Geez. The perp is pure evil. What a way to get his rocks off.’

Waldron flicked through his notes. ‘I can help there, sir. The mutilation was effected with a four inch blade.’

‘Shut up, Waldron and get me something to drink that doesn’t clot.’

This week’s Microcosm prompt was to take the tile of a book in our TBR heap and use that as inspiration. I’m reading The Attack Of The Unsinkable Rubber Ducks by Christopher Brookmyre