A Career Of Highs And Lows #microcosms #flashfiction

Sergio Pontus took his job as hangman seriously though he preferred ‘final dispatcher’ as his sobriquet. His own knot, known as the ‘Sergio Slip’ earned plaudits for being easy to make, comfortable to wear with minimal abrasions and quick to remove. He prided himself on his traps, which endured a squeak-free, anti-clanking end.
His children bought him, for the tenth anniversary of his first drop, a nylon-hemp rope with gold thread detailing. He could often be found, during those last tense moments, as hopes of final appeals expired, explaining how the inclusion of the hemp gave a satisfying snap to a hanging while the nylon avoided any unsavoury tickling for the tardy whose necks were more robust than the average.
If the delays stretched from the mere unkind towards the unconscionable he would add that, on sunny days the golden sinews gave the scene a sparkle redolent of Ely cathedral.
For those deemed special, whose residence in cell 42 – an ironic allusion to The Meaning of Life, the Universe and Everything – Sergio offered his extras. Favourites included ‘The Final Countdown’ where the prisoner chose a number to represent the exact minute of their drop, and Hangman’s hangman where Sergio always started with ‘pardon’ in one of a variety of obscure dialects, certain that his guests would be sure not to get one. How they laughed.
When, finally the death penalty was abolished, Sergio dismantled the gallows and took them home to his Surbiton semi. He grew sweat peas up his rope and turned the wooden base into novelty decking with the trap giving access to a small dark pond that was home to a carp called Preston. The gallows became a rose arbour and the hood a cover for forcing his early rhubarb. He was content.

Microcosms prompts this week are Hangman, prison, comedy. Please visit here if you fancy a try . And this week, mine was the chosen winner. Cough, splutter. Thank you everyone who has helped me to reach this point…

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published two anthologies of short stories, Life, in a Grain of Sand and Life in a Flash. More will appear soon, including a memoir of my mother's last years. I will try and continue to blog regularly at geofflepard.com about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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21 Responses to A Career Of Highs And Lows #microcosms #flashfiction

  1. Ritu says:

    Waste not want not indeed!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. A carp called Preston. I’ve just snorted coffee onto my keyboard. Sergio certainly found his calling.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Another gem. Still smiling.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. That was oddly sweet – which is what your ‘sweat peas’ should be. A package was dispatched to your address yesterday minus the note I wrote, but forgot to include 🙂 It just said have fun….

    Liked by 1 person

  5. willowdot21 says:

    😀😉😶🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😱

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Charli Mills says:

    You had me at the knot “comfortable to wear.” Sergio was such a cool guy, I like how it all ended with Preston, roses, and rhubarb. Although you might want to check his peas. I prefer my sweet and not perspiring! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Sometimes your intimate knowledge really frightens me 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Al Lane says:

    This is wonderful… you’ve crammed so much into a small space too… When I die, my only hope is to meet a squeak-free, anti-clanking end!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Fabulous Geoff, you are very numerous and clever.

    Liked by 1 person

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