Gotta New Motor

It’s rather incredible to me that someone with the money to buy a Lamborghini does not have the sense to avoid somewhere covered in snow.

Today, a rather murky sort of day it has to be admitted, I was pulling my gloves while I waited for my friend to pay for our post-piste cuppas and such a vehicle smoothly glided last, brakes spun in a very perfect circle and hit a bank of snow. The driver stayed inside, on his phone. Whether it was embarrassment that kept him there or he was just waiting for his ‘people’ to come and rescue him, I’m not sure.

That small incident reminded me of this little story I penned a while ago. Any possible connection to anyone alive or dead is entirely possible, even if not deliberate. 

Egon Tusk steepled his fingers. A good day. He allowed his gravitas a moment’s respite and smiled.

‘Sir. Egon.’ Jeremy hopped nervously

Egon allowed his perfectly trained, beautifully sculptured right eyebrow a chance to rise. What great news did his PA want to impart, he pondered?

‘It’s the lawyers. Sir. On line 4.’

A cloud skipped into view; he brushed it away with the confidence of the serially successful entrepreneur. Four quick claps and the videocon came alive. ‘Yes Jon.’

‘We’ve received a writ. About the new car.’

Egon was not given to panic. His life was a testament to control. He had even trained himself to urinate in regular quantities. He ran through the possibilities. Angry competitors whose old technology cars would be redundant in weeks. Garage owners or power companies whose fuelling businesses would be history in a year. They would lose. LOSE.

‘Go on, make me laugh.’

Jon coughed. ‘It’s a summons. The Federal Government versus Tusk Technologies. It’s seeking an injunction to stop the car’s launch. It’s accusing Tusk of breaking the law.’

‘What law, Jon? We went through everything. It’s silent, it has no emissions, it doesn’t wear any road surface, it is incapable of crashing into anything…’

‘That’s the problem, Egon. An antigravity car might avoid all the old problems but it breaks the law.’

Egon tugged at his earlobe, a habit he had trained himself out of but which resurfaced at times of stress. ‘How?’

Jon looked down at something and then up. ‘Nature, Egon. It breaks the laws of nature.’

Egon Tusk curled his fist into a ball and punched the wall. The wall fought back and pain seared through his arm, proving at least one Newtonian law still applied: every action has and equal and opposite reaction.

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published two anthologies of short stories, Life, in a Grain of Sand and Life in a Flash. More will appear soon, including a memoir of my mother's last years. I will try and continue to blog regularly at geofflepard.com about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
This entry was posted in creative writing, flash fiction, holidays, humour, miscellany and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Gotta New Motor

  1. Ritu says:

    Can’t fight the laws of nature!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. willowdot21 says:

    You can’t fight them indeed, no more than fight the rigours of time 🤣💜

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Charli Mills says:

    Gravity defeats egos in the end, one way or another. Funny how life is imitating the art you write!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Love this one! So funny to imagine this person in total control being defeated by the laws of nature. 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. noelleg44 says:

    Ergon Tusk, indeed. Thinly veiled but so funny! Nice work!
    We had a neighbor in Evanston, IL, when we lived there, who had a Porsche. He parked it next to his garage and left it there through the 90 inches of snow we got that winter. He came out in March, stood on a pile of snow and asked where his car was. We told him he was standing on it. It started to appear in April. .

    Liked by 1 person

  6. JT Twissel says:

    Never battle a wall! Looks like you’re having great weather for your adventure – enjoy! And don’t go pretending to be a Lamborghini on those slopes!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Haha, Geoff, you do have a vivid imagination.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. moovashaka says:

    If i’d have known you were going to write about my Lambo, I would have jumped out and paid you not too! Oh damn …. just a vivid dream then : – D

    Liked by 1 person

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