What Is A Poem? Is it about the words?

Scamming Grammar

I’ve always hated grammar

So imagine my surprise

When suddenly last summer

I came across this prize

A message in a bottle

That really made me frown

It forced my stops to glottel

And turned my verbs to nouns.

My tenses were not passive

When the letter I pulled free

It left me with this massive

Urge to throw it back to sea.

The writer started out with prose

Which filled me full of terror

Because, and let us just suppose

It was a schoolboy error.

He tried to use a rhyming scheme

A sort of limerick

Which was enough to make me scream

And an urge, his bubble, to prick.

I am not proud, I have to say

I tore his words to pieces

Which left him somewhere high and dry

Alone amongst his clichés.

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published two anthologies of short stories, Life, in a Grain of Sand and Life in a Flash. More will appear soon, including a memoir of my mother's last years. I will try and continue to blog regularly at geofflepard.com about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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29 Responses to What Is A Poem? Is it about the words?

  1. Ritu says:

    Very good His Geoffleship!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. davidprosser says:

    Now that’s a poem not one of these little Japanese inventions of 3 words.
    Hugs

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Ha-ha! He who lives in a glass house ……. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Erika Kind says:

    At least you have something in common in some way… lol!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. It’s hilarious. I thought of every cheesy poet I’ve ever met who knew everything about grammar and nothing about poetry.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Rowena says:

    Fantastic poem, Geoff. Had a great laugh and also loved the banter in the comments. I did note that you’ve been promoted to your “Geoffleship”. Congratulations. Does that come with a car space?
    I wanted to share my contribution for Friday Fictioneers with you because it reminded me of Dickhead Travels when I thought about it today: https://beyondtheflow.wordpress.com/2018/02/08/not-the-taj-mahal-friday-fictioneers/
    BTW Here’s a moment from Idiot Organizer. Yesterday, I was going through all my paperwork with one of my support workers and updating my diary and filling out a mountain of forms, which I mostly did without her assistance. She was mostly there to make sure I sat in the chair and didn’t disappear on a flight of fancy of any description.
    Anyway, I was pretty chuffed with it all. However, later on I could find my phone. Not an unusual occurance. So, I did the usual and tried calling it. Fortunately, it was still alive and like a long lost sheep, I could hear it bleating from the bookshelf. I’m not sure if this immediately tells you how baffled I was but I’d expected the phone to be on the kitchen table, beside my bed or chair and the bookshelf almost seemed like it was calling from the afterlife.
    Anyway, after pulling the folders I’d been working on out, there was still no phone.
    I rang again.
    To be absolute horror, despair and nightmares, I’d somehow managed to file the phone in the box of plastic sleeves. I tell you. That takes effort.
    It’s become my story of the week.
    I hope your week is behaving itself and being more straightforward!
    xx Ro

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Norah says:

    Hehehe. Well done, Geoff. The trials of a poet.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. JT Twissel says:

    Very clever! Tickled my funny bone this morning. Thx!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Al Lane says:

    But I keep coming back for some reason! 😀

    Like

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