Trompe D’Oeil #writephoto

Sue’s #writephoto prompt is 

Trompe d’oeil

 

 

‘And this is another classic Walter Bleasedale, from his ‘Mysterious Orb’ series…’

‘It’s a fake.’

‘Sorry?’

‘I said…’

‘Yes, but what do you mean? It’s from Walter. It’s been authenticated…’

‘That’s the point. It’s not authentic.’

‘But Walter created it…’

‘So did Frankenstein, but that didn’t make it human.’

‘Look, no one wants this cod dissection from some loony…’

‘Oh, that’s right. Lose the argument and resort to insults.’

‘No, look…’

‘That’s all I’ve done. Looked. And it’s fake.’

‘Walter Bloody Bleasedale made this picture and…’

‘Of course he did. But that doesn’t make it real. That orb for instance…’

‘What about it?’

When Bleasedale did his first. Remember that?’

‘Of course. It’s in the Tate. Orb of Life.’

‘Sure. And the trick was the light, right, the floating light. Otherwordly.’

‘Quite. It’s what he’s know for. So…’

‘So, he’s moved on. It’s no longer about the art, the honesty. It’s about the money.’

‘But he did this…’

‘’Yes, I effing know that. But what did he do?’

‘He painted the picture and…’

‘Hold that thought. He painted the picture… but he didn’t paint the orb.’

‘He did. It’s right there.’

‘Yes, but that’s not an orb.’

‘Not an orb?’

‘Not in the sense of his original works; not in the sense expected by his public. His canvases go for tens of thousands, but this is fake.’

‘So you keep saying but just saying it doesn’t make it so.’

‘Just calling it an orb doesn’t make it so.’

‘This is getting us nowhere… Ladies and Gentlemen, moving on, this…’

‘There is, was no orb. He made it up.’

‘Eh?’

‘It’s a lightbulb. This isn’t some mystical presence, inspired by nature. This is an Osram 150 watt bayonet, 70 pence at Tescos. Doesn’t have quite the same lustre, that.’

‘I defy you to look at that and see a lightbulb. Where’s the filament? The holder? The power source?’

‘But that’s what it is. And those? Those pools of light? Those ‘Footsteps of the Gods’ in his immortal words? Bleach. Demestos. A quid from any good retailer. We’re not in a presence here. We’re in a sham.’

‘How do you know this?’

‘Because I set it up for him. The orb wasn’t there when he came to paint it. I had just done his garage out as a studio when he called me.’

‘So what?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘What if he just made it up? What if, and I’m hypothesizing here, there was no orb and no bulb, no pools of light and no bleach. Just his imagination. Does that make it fake?’

‘He sells on the basis that he paints the extraordinary in nature, so…’

‘Yes, but you’re not saying, surely, that there have never been orbs, never been pools of light?’

‘No, but that’s not…’

‘That is the point. He’s painting a dream, an idea, a concept. This isn’t reality. He’s not saying, Look, See This. It’s magic.’

‘Yes he is.’

‘People buying it might think that, but that’s not what he’s doing. You need someone else, not Walter if that’s what you want.’

‘Like’

‘A sodding photographer. So Ladies and Gentlemen, when Walter was ten he had his first transcendental experience…’

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published two anthologies of short stories, Life, in a Grain of Sand and Life in a Flash. More will appear soon, including a memoir of my mother's last years. I will try and continue to blog regularly at geofflepard.com about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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13 Responses to Trompe D’Oeil #writephoto

  1. Ritu says:

    Oh your mind is doing that wandering again!

    Like

  2. Hmmm, I bet there are a lot of sodding photographers out there who might take umbrage! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sue Vincent says:

    Imagination…that’s where the real magic resides 🙂

    Like

  4. alexankarr1 says:

    Interesting dialogue. Those are some provocative points one of these dudes is making, even if a bit wilfully provocative! Hard to tell which of them is the gallery guide…

    Like

  5. Marvelous, Geoff. LOL… bleach… Hugs.

    Like

  6. JT Twissel says:

    Who says dreams aren’t reality? ; )

    Like

  7. Pingback: Trompe D’Oeil – Geoff Le Pard #writephoto | Sue Vincent's Daily Echo

  8. Suzanne says:

    Well I have photographed orbs quite a lot. Some can be explained rationally but many can’t. I featured a number of such photos in my response to this challenge. https://bloggingcalmandchaos.wordpress.com/2018/01/28/a-place-of-spirits/

    Liked by 1 person

  9. barbtaub says:

    I love this! Hilarious and subversive.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Pingback: Photo prompt round up – Woodland #writephoto | Sue Vincent's Daily Echo

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