There I Was, Doing This Job… #writephoto

This week’s #writephoto prompt from Sue is 

‘Morning Harry.’

‘John. You well?’

John Plont climbed into the van and turned up the heating. ‘Missus was a bit runky and the mutt had a touch of the dribblets but otherwise, can’t complain. You got the worksheet?’

Harry Pettimoron handed over a clipboard and started the engine. ‘Just checking it. A couple of underwibbling grommoids, a spectral orc was debilitating twibilitis and an another of them leaking photoroids.’

‘More photoroids? Has Colin negotiated us an upgrade for them yet? Last one pretty much jellied my tooblocket. Helen was dead unimpressed.’

‘I bet. You said she’d had her scroomboottles reframbigated.’

‘Yeah and her nails done too. I could barely maintain a smile.’

Harry pulled the van out into the traffic, took his hands off the wheel and lit a marginal-gain. ‘Anyway, Colin was having a hang-in with management. Tuesday. So I ‘spect we’re on double-wonders. Shall we get that photoroid out of the way and then we can warm up our prantiles on a froomdogle over at Mrs Patterson’s. She’s had the zip-zoomers refragranced, I believe.’

‘Nice idea, though I’m trying to cut back. Me orifices are clagging again.’ John tapped in the directions and sat back. ‘So what are you doing for Christmas?’

‘Oh the usual. We’ve decided to give the Mother in law to medical research again. Apparently her latest kidney is about ready to harvest and the doc said he thinks her brain is ripe enough to take some cuttings.’

‘Nice. We’re on our own this year. The kids’ school has managed to hire a Time Warp and they’re going on a Build An Alien Culture camp for a couple of millennia over the holidays.’

‘What base material do they use these days? When my kids went it was just carbon or silicon.’

‘Oh that’s so old school, Harry. They’ve chosen a zinc based ginger and cardamom compound; seems you get naturally peace-loving bipeds with little flatulence and good posture.’ John sat forward. ‘Looks like we’re here.’

Harry and John manoeuvred their scaffo-magnets from the back to the van and floated them towards the pouring light.

Harry wrinkled his nose. ‘Looks deliberate. Bloody office parties. I bet someone thought it funny to climb up there to have a look across the space-time continuum and they’ve snagged the fabric of the universe on their party heels. You grab the stream and I’ll fix the ‘ole, ok?’

John held the magnets steady as the jetting light of the photoroids poured down through the stone slabs, past the soil and clay and into the magma. Meanwhile Harry threaded a needle and began to stitch the rip carefully. ‘Anyway, I was saying to Doris, maybe we should have a couple of nights on a cruise. Sort of Christmas treat. Jupiter’s good value, I think.’


About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published two anthologies of short stories, Life, in a Grain of Sand and Life in a Flash. More will appear soon, including a memoir of my mother's last years. I will try and continue to blog regularly at about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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36 Responses to There I Was, Doing This Job… #writephoto

  1. Ritu says:

    Oh His Geoffleship! I do wonder where your mind wanders!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Your mind went somewhere so far and fast I have no chance of catching up! 🙂 I particularly liked John’s comment on the kids choice of a ‘zinc based ginger and cardamom compound; seems you get naturally peace-loving bipeds with little flatulence and good posture.’ You might be onto something there……..

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sue Vincent says:

    Mad…. but I approve of the alternative to carbon-based lifeforms.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. trifflepudling says:

    and beneath it is the bloke in the bowler hat

    Liked by 1 person

  5. JT Twissel says:

    Goodness – I do feel fibblejiggled by office party highjinxs and in a mood for a couple of underwibbling grommoids on that froomjoggled cruise to Jupiter!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Lol – my favourite line was ‘you said she’d had her scroomboottles reframbigated.’ – my mind wandered 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Iain Kelly says:

    The language and vocabulary in this is fantastic Geoff. I hope my office party this week is as interesting!…

    Liked by 1 person

  8. well written man, i had some problem understanding words a little (English is not my mother tongue) but i really enjoyed it, searching meanings and getting back to para, it was great !!Appreciation from India !!

    Liked by 2 people

  9. It’s 26 degree out here, little warm, little cold, As I commented earlier, I really liked this piece of writing, I want to ask that can I use this for our school story board, I will be pleased if you will allow!

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Professor Stanley Unwin lives on. Nice one, Geoff. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Ha ha ha ha. That’s absolutely crazy. Loved the Roald Dahl-esque made-up words 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Pingback: There I Was, Doing This Job… #writephoto – Geoff Le Pard | Sue Vincent's Daily Echo

  13. Pingback: Photo prompt round-up – Portal – #writephoto | Sue Vincent's Daily Echo

  14. James says:

    Makes messing around with the universe seem quite ordinary. I enjoyed the tale but had to pay a lot of attention to the nomenclature.

    Liked by 1 person

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