In Which A Possessed Can Of Beans Explodes, Contributing To The Gaiety Of Nations #microcosms

Timothy whistled. Not much of a tune and no real power but a definite whistle. Lori Perchance opened the Health & Safety box extracting the Rod and the Staff and headed for the shortbread tin. She caught a glimpse of Timothy holding a vibrating can.

“It’s a PNR. Boisterous too,” he hissed as his knuckles whitened.

“What’s in the can?”

“Beans; always causes the little buggers to conflagrate.”

“How long we got?”

Timothy held the can a little closer. “Five minutes.”

“Ok. Push it here.” Lori held the Rod and Staff over the can while Timothy moved a shortbread as close as he dared.

While they waited, Lori said, “Management say they’ll get the exorcists in. The last possession was a turning point.”

“Oh? Careful, the seam is splitting.”

“Yeah. Noted. It was a rebarbative PND.”

Timothy nodded knowingly. “A Person Named David? Tricky one that. What was the filling?”

“Artichoke soup. In under 100 words he evoked a flatulence reflux in the foreman. Poor love; it’s been Bovril and nettle poultices all week.”

The can had begun to dissolve. Lori started to incant while Timothy knelt down and pushed more shortbread at the ooze. In moments a spectral redhead, manically grinning and banshee wailing the Hills of Shenandoah flashed out of the sauce and grabbed a biscuit. Then a second.

Before the banshee could wail them to death, the controlling Rod and the elevating Staff enveloped the PNR. Still smoking and chewing on the shortbread the PNR was dragged away. As she left, Lori called back. “You hear about the Redditch factory? They had a Person Named Geoff last month.”

“Gosh. How’d they deal with him?”

“They let loose a couple of compound gerunds and he didn’t know which way to turn. Utterly bemused.”

this weird little tale follows the latest Microcosms prompt; it pays homage to three lovely providers of flash fiction prompts, two of whom who are no longer prompting – David Borrowdale (Microbookends), Rebekah Postupak (flash friday) and, the mind behind Microcosms, Geoff Holme, a real stickler for grammar and word counts.

What is especially pleasing is I won! Get me. Out of 24 entries. Obvs it’s utterly random that I did and many others were better but still, that leaves you feeling slightly chuffed.

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published two anthologies of short stories, Life, in a Grain of Sand and Life in a Flash. More will appear soon, including a memoir of my mother's last years. I will try and continue to blog regularly at about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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7 Responses to In Which A Possessed Can Of Beans Explodes, Contributing To The Gaiety Of Nations #microcosms

  1. Nice gerunding ??? Congrats, Geoff.


  2. I bean meaning to tell you, how much your writing makes me smile. Guess I am in grand company!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. JT Twissel says:

    That title alone is worth a win! Banshees and beans – you can’t do any better than that!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. How could this not? It is entirely senseless and yet makes complete sense!! Your creative mind continues to amaze!! Congrats!!


  5. Mick Canning says:

    A most worthy winner, Geoff!

    Liked by 1 person

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