Sense and Sensitivity #writephoto #flashfiction

Sue Vincent’s #writephoto prompt is

 

It’s only now, at this moment of exquisite numbness that I realise how my senses have been heightened throughout our affair.

The shivers of expectation as I wait for that first touch, the moment when she runs a finger along my forearm. It brings back those early weeks, a life held in limbo filling in every second to bursting; Then there is the recurrent metallic stickiness of the taste of blood in my mouth, each time she slaps me, every hurt extended by words devoid of care, full of bile.

After there is the clawing stench of his sweat, clinging to her defiant skin, never yielding to that miasma of truth that drifts in her wake and seeps into my soul.

And finally it is the words, the ones I’ve spoken to myself in my lonely optimism, but on her lips are like shrapnel to my hopes.

I listen to the pitter-patter of the rain on the still waters as she slips below the surface with a gurgle and a gulp. One by one my senses shut down until finally even my conscious self is no more. She is gone and so am I.

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published three books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars and Salisbury Square. In addition I published an anthology of short stories, Life, in a Grain of Sand this summer. A fourth book will be out soon. This started life as a novel in a week on this blog and will follow later this year. I blog about all sorts at geofflepard.com and welcome all comments. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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26 Responses to Sense and Sensitivity #writephoto #flashfiction

  1. Oh, she deserved it!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That was intense ! and I can’t remember the last time I heard the word “miasma”…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Erika Kind says:

    Wow, what intense feelings (and actions) packed in only few paragraphs.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Very intense Geoff. As Erika said, you have have said so much in those few words!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Sue Vincent says:

    Incisive…and tragic.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. OOOh, Geoff, a very powerful piece of writing.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I so want to say that given the extreme dysfunction of the relationship, maybe for the best ….. but that is callous, so I won’t. I agree with the others – intense, tragic…… And it is such a pretty picture too (Tongue firmly in cheek, slipping off into the night)

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Pingback: Photo prompt round-up – Eye – #writephoto | Sue Vincent's Daily Echo

  9. Iain Kelly says:

    Intense and beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Rowena says:

    Ouch! Such a powerful, well-written piece of writing, Geoff. To think those waters looked so Monetesque…

    Like

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