Toothsome #microcosms #shortfiction

Microcosms is a prompt and a challenge. This week it was to use the  three elements bell and write a story in under 300 words

Vampire : wedding : horror

‘Dolores, I didn’t recognise you. You look wonderful.’
‘We’ve been caving in Bulgaria. The dark was just divine.’ Griselda stood back a little.
‘Lucky you. You’re so beautifully pale.’
Dolores leant forward, whispering conspiratorially. ‘The catering was simply sublime. The mini bar was full of type O too. Ferdinand was peckish all the time, if you know what I mean.’ She pulled her cloak to her, hiding from the strong moonlight. ‘And you? How are the wedding plans going?’
‘Don’t get me started. It’s going to be a disaster.’
‘No! How so? The girl, she’s a Lugosi isn’t she? Well bitten.’
‘Oh her breeding is fine and she’s been finished well but, well, she’s all post modern. She doesn’t file her teeth you know?’
‘Oh that’s just fashion. My Esme has started using Garlic by Fnag. Smells like that Norwegian who tried to terminate Cuthbert with the old church spike last November. All pickled herrings and alliums.’
‘You know that’s part of it, the catering. Not a transfusion in sight. They don’t want the soup to clot, and the main course is steak. I’ve no idea what my father will think. He’ll be turning in his grave.’
‘I wish mine would. A bit of turning would help him avoid the sores, poor old soul.’
‘That’s not the worst of it, Dolores. There’s going to be a hen do. We’re all expected to join in. It’ll be so embarrassing.’
‘Why? Won’t it fun?’
‘You think? There’s a theme. Holiday time.’
‘How’s that embarrassing?’
‘We start by getting a spray tan…’
‘Nooooo….’

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published two anthologies of short stories, Life, in a Grain of Sand and Life in a Flash. More will appear soon, including a memoir of my mother's last years. I will try and continue to blog regularly at geofflepard.com about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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11 Responses to Toothsome #microcosms #shortfiction

  1. Ritu says:

    Oh priceless!!!! 🤣

    Liked by 1 person

  2. willowdot21 says:

    Love this Geoff right up my street!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. willowdot21 says:

    Pardon my manners, fang you very much!! 🥀🥀💜🤗🤗

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Well done, says the type O.

    Like

  5. HAHA! There are so many things I love about this story Geoff, ‘well bitten,’ and ‘plenty of ‘type O’ to name just two! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh, laugh out loud! The ending eliminated the ‘horror’ element 😀 😀 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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