While this post wanders hither and yon, on the subject of my apparently dwindling competitive spirit, I’ll populate it with pictures from the garden today. There is a link – sort of – at the end…
I’m a bundle of contradictions, sometimes. One of the joys of blogging, and writing is, for me, it is the antithesis of a competitive pursuit.
I have found help from all quarters and little sign of any one unwilling to share their time and ideas. Generosity seems to be the default setting and it is contagious.
Yet, for as long as I can remember I have competed at most things and, indeed, I’m sure I put down most of my successes – to the extent I’ve had any – to an instinctive need to compete.
Going right back, the Archaeologist, being the older sibling by some 16 months, was my target even thought he barely bothered to join in – mostly because from an equally early age he had a deep and ingrained certainty in his innate superiority so competing was futile; he would always be better even if, on specific occasions he appeared to come out second best.
I’m sure this inclination, be it genetic or inculcated later, comes from my dad who liked a good battle, especially of the political argument sort.
And in truth wanting to be better than (read: beat) others stood me in good stead at school and uni and in my career in the law.
It wasn’t that I wanted them to fail but for me to succeed; at least that’s how I’d try and see it but the net result was the same.
So now that I’m exposing myself (hmm, there’s a better way of saying that) to the publishing industry and the competition out there, why is it that it doesn’t, to me at least feel like a competition?
I suppose it’s that I’m not pitching myself at the pinnacle, the tiny few who are on a best seller list, who see themselves in relation to others in terms of sales and ratings etc.
I’m like one of the hundreds winning ten quid on the lottery; I don’t begrudge the other ten quid winners or feel especially like I’ve done better than the even greater millions who win nothing; there’s plenty enough of the ten quid pie to go round.
I heard the other day of a friend with whom I shared my creative writing course; she’s found a publisher and I am delighted for her without condition. She writes in a different genre for a start and wants a publishing deal whereas I am happy to self publish so it is apples and pears.
So when someone asked me, in reference my up coming book release, where I hoped to come in the Amazon best seller list I was rather stumped. I haven’t thought about it; selling a few copies, or giving them away, at least so a few people will read it and maybe like it and come back for more, that’s good enough and leaves room for everyone else. Even if I made a lot more effort marketing my book, this won’t change, despite the fact that I am in effect trying to win over readers to my book at the possible detriment of other authors.
Perhaps it’s not the writing so much as me; maybe I don’t compete like I used to. Really? Nah, that doesn’t wash. Let’s face it, today I was competing with my mother and she’s been dead over seven years. That takes some doing.
Here’s why.
Her sunflowers, circa 1985
And mine today.
She may have been 5 foot 2 and shrinking and me 5 foot 10 and holding steady but I’m a way off aren’t I?
Still, there’s plenty of summer left. Huh, mum? You wait and see….
TanGental 
Thank you for sharing – beautiful photos
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thank you; it’s gone well this year…
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Your mother didn’t try to beat you at uni, the law, or writing books. I think you’ve got to give her the sunflower victories…
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she chose her battlefields, that is true….
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Nothing in your garden looks remotely slug nibbled – how do you control them?
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it’s a combination of the Textiliste’s diligent collection and my singing – they cannot stand a four part harmony..
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You son of a sunflower magician, you!
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it’s the steroidal fertiliser – sadly my sunflowers will be banned from competitive sports as a result
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That competitive gene is strong in our family! That is a good looking sunflower nonetheless. Great pictures!!
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I suspect mum might have thought me rather sad to see it as a competition, given that she is still clearly winning!!
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Gorgeous flowers!
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they are pretty ace just now…
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We have none this year!
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Great pics, Geoff. My brother Chris did the maths; I did the art – no contest – simples.
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if only we had gone that route…!
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I have never met a truly UNcompetitive person! It’s part of our self-preservation kit. I definitely get a lot less worked up about stuff than I used to, though. Hmm.
All the flowers are lovely! Whose is the first sunflower? Quite scary…
With the writing, maybe it’s just that you write mainly to please yourself that you’re less competitive about it.
You know, really competitive people are exhausting! The other day I realised someone was actually seriously competing over the size of a bruise – yawn!
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ha! yes, there are occasions when the organ recital gets a bit competitive! The sunflower is one of the Textiliste’s and had been mullered by a bloody parakeet – five of the buggers were going at them today!
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The size of that sunflower head, it is HUGE!!!
I think your garden is beautiful Geoff, you have some gorgeous flowers. I bet your mum would be impressed with how lovely it looks. 🙂
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she was blown away when she first saw it, loving the potential. I’d hope she would approve how it has matured under the Textiliste’s guiding hand
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Geoffle, this is a dream. It is simply a dream!!! I am off tomorrow and hope the weather is good enough for working in the garden. I miss it a lot!!
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yes, I think that’s true, a fantasy island of my own…
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And you totally deserve it. I am happy for you, Geoffle!!
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Glorious Geoff, shed a tear for your Mum or was it mine…. Beautifully written post and fabulous Photos. The book sod the ratings you are a success, an Author my boy!!💗
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Indeed, Willow, indeed that is all that matters. I’ve achieved something that at least some people like and that is better than I expected so, yes, that’s enough of a fillip…
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Indeed, indeed 💜💖
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Your mum would have looked at the pic of you proudly showing off your sunflower and given you one of those looks – you know the slightly bemused, tolerant look of a parent with a lovely, but slightly dim child…….
I have a theory about the non-competitive thing. While it comes for most of us as we mature, it seems to be when we work creatively things change. There’s such an innate satisfaction with the creative process that the worldly view of ‘success’ becomes obsolete. The success lies in completing the creative process for oneself. It’s nice if the final product is admired or purchased or whatever, but that is simply icing on the cake. The real result is deeply personal. Does that theory have any resonance for you?
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gosh yes, that makes so much sense. Linda is like that, has been for as long as I can recall and it carries across into other areas. I suspect there are some to whom it doesn’t apply but for many I’m sure it is true
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Such a musical post written from within, Geoff. I love reading these kinds of posts where the author shares their thoughts as if speaking to just him/herself. The garden is looking great. Were those grapes? Will there be jam and wine as well as sunflower oil?
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Black tomatoes. For some reason they are taking ages to ripen. Thanks for the thoughtful comment. Yes it was a bit of a muse post!!
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