Crime and Misdemeanours #mondaymotivations #flashfiction

‘Zeta Hatchette, you look like a goldfish who’s had their identity stolen.’

Zeta closed her mouth. Disaster strikes and who’s in charge but Rowan Brisket. She forced a smile. ‘Flabby! Long time, no see. You a copper now?’

Rowan glowered. ‘No one calls me that these days. Not since year ten.’

‘No, I suppose not. You look… sparse. Hope you’re well?’

‘I’m fine. Just fit. And it’s Inspector.’

‘Ooo. Soz. Look, are you in charge, because this is not good. Your people need reining in. They can’t search every bag, surely?’

Inspector Brisket straightened her jacket. ‘We have reasonable suspicion…’

‘No, you don’t.’

‘I’m sorry?’

‘This is an international symposium and the delegates come from all over. One minute your PC asks Harold Klunth – he’s from Hamburg – if he…’

‘That’s a he?’

Zeta ground her teeth. ‘This is an officially recognized LBGTQIA diversity extravaganza and Harold is, was, wants to be… look, can’t you stop this? Can’t you see everyone has a bag?’

Rowan waved her hand. ‘They’re all the same. And not just the bags. The hats, the uniforms, the brolleys.’

‘Of course they are. They’re all Mary Poppins. They all have carpet bags. They’re lining up for the next experience.’

‘Exactly! That’s what that man, erm, that Mary – which is he? On your list?’

‘He’s a Q. Questioning. What did say?’

‘He said everyone was looking forward to getting their spoonful of sugar. You can understand my team’s worry. I mean, that’s breaking all sorts of laws. We in the health Police have a duty to protect against wanton obesity and…’ Rowan began to look doubtful. ‘It is sugar, isn’t it?’

Zeta looked horrified. ‘God no. It’s the latest amphetamine-ecstasy hybrid. Do you want to try? Light on the tongue and loud on the head.’

Rowan took the offered sachet. ‘Don’t mind if I do? And which are you? On the list?’

This is part of Esther Newton’s Monday Motivations, here

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published three books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars and Salisbury Square. In addition I published an anthology of short stories, Life, in a Grain of Sand this summer. A fourth book will be out soon. This started life as a novel in a week on this blog and will follow later this year. I blog about all sorts at geofflepard.com and welcome all comments. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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8 Responses to Crime and Misdemeanours #mondaymotivations #flashfiction

  1. Ritu says:

    Good one His Geoffleship!!

    Like

  2. esthernewton says:

    A super interpretation! Glad the brollies inspired you, Geoff.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Now there’s an alternative universe!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. noelleg44 says:

    The umbrellas, as we call them, certainly led you to a far out concept. Loved it! I am still confused by LGBTQ and other monikers….

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Pingback: Monday Motivations | esthernewtonblog

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