Sergeant Simms and the Disappearing Elephant #microcosms #flashfiction

A piece of  flash

‘What we got, Mabel?’
‘Not sure sarge. The caller said something about a missing elephant.’
‘Don’t think so. She sounded really upset. Seems they’re filming some sort of Carry on Hannibal up at Hocum Hall.’
Sergeant Simm sighed. Just what he needed. A bunch of prima donnas, and he’d not had his morning pastry yet. ‘Tell ’em I’ll be ten minutes. Who’d I to ask for?’
‘Priscilla Barton-Warblington.’
‘No kidding?’
Priscilla scanned the banqueting hall. She looked at the understandably sceptical policeman. ‘Honest. I left him here, eating some apples. It was just a minute, no more than five and when I can back he… he was gone.’
Simm followed her gaze. ‘Bit risky, leaving him alone?’
‘Not at all.’ Priscilla felt her face flush. ‘He’s a pet.’
‘Well, if he walked out or was taken surely one of the crew would have seen him. There are only two doors and I doubt he’d manage the windows.’
‘Elephants don’t have opposable thumbs, Sergeant. He’d not manage the catches.’
Simm nodded, his feeble humour failing him again.
Both turned as they heard raised voices. A flustered man dashed in. ‘My Betty! Where is he?’
Simm looked at Priscilla. ‘Betty?’
She shrugged. ‘He’s Albanian.’
The man circled the room.
Priscilla added. ‘The trainer.’
Just then a hooting started. The man pressed the panelling. ‘He’s here.’
Simm frowned. The panel was no more than six foot square. ‘How can an elephant…?’
Suddenly the man sprung back as the panel pivoted revealing a dark space behind. Out trotted an elephant. A Pygmy.
Simm left slowly, reluctant to go to the station. He knew how it would go. The crew would avoid eye contact until one of them said, ‘It’s okay Simmy, if you want to talk about the elephant in the room.’

This was written in response to a Microcosm’s prompt, here

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published two anthologies of short stories, Life, in a Grain of Sand and Life in a Flash. More will appear soon, including a memoir of my mother's last years. I will try and continue to blog regularly at about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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17 Responses to Sergeant Simms and the Disappearing Elephant #microcosms #flashfiction

  1. barbtaub says:

    You got me again. All the way through I was trying to predict the end joke but I didn’t even come close. So good!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ritu says:

    Oh lol!!! I love it His Geoffleship!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I had no clue where there was going 🙂 Very clever!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. gordon759 says:

    You should be careful writing a story including a pigmy elephant.
    Since, as you know, pigmy elephants were once to be found on several of the Mediterranean islands, and the inhabitants can get unhappy if you fail to respect their local fauna.
    After all you wouldn’t want to make a Maltese Cross.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Annika Perry says:

    This is good, Geoff and has me chuckling! 😀😀 I think poor Simm should just call in sick for a few days!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Reblogged this on Don Massenzio's Blog and commented:
    Check out this piece of flash fiction from Geoff Lepard’s blog


  7. You even lead me up the garden path with this one. Had a good ole chuckle at this, Geoff.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. HaHA! Beautifully done, Geoff! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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