10 things I didn’t consider when losing weight


The new me

I’ve lost weight recently. Since July some 12 kilos have just evaporated. I needed to, to fit the ‘not obese’ criteria our medical faci professionals bombard us with. And losing those bags of sugar (which is the best way I have of visualising this loss – that’s 10 to 12 bags) has been a boon. Exercise is easier; I don’t sweat as much or get out of breath going up hill as much, my ribs don’t get sore bending over. My family have had nice things to say about how I look (okay, they’re biased but I’m not about to look the proverbial gift horse in the mouth, okay?).

But there some unexpected consequences (you may say I’m naive but really I didn’t think about this) to weight loss. And while no one denies being healthy is a good thing, there ought to be a section on side effects, like on a medicine bottle. In no particular order I have noted the following;

  1. I now have pleated jeans – in order for me to not act like some ridiculous teen, showing off my M&S undies, I have to yank in my belt and scrunch up all this now redundant material;
  2. Which means I have had to buy more clothes; I don’t enjoy buying new clothes at the best of times but to do so when my existing clothes aren’t worn out is simply galling;
  3. This then leads to the realisation that my shirts are too baggy and all scrunched up too, my jackets can double as tents, my pullovers could house a party of refugees and even my shoes feel a bit loose – did I have fat feet? I could have sworn the podiatrist said ‘flat feet’ but maybe I misheard;
  4. I’ve had to knock extra holes in my belts but all that’s done is leave me with so much extra that it’s like I can wrap myself twice;
  5. I’ve had to borrow my son’s ski wear for a skiing holiday I have coming up soon – which if you see his taste in salopettes you’ll understand my angst – a sort of snot yellow;
  6. I need more clothes anyway because whereas my personalised quilting kept me warm, now I need help. It’s forcing me to shop; it’s like the retail industry promotes slimming to boost sales;
  7. And my bum has gone, to replaced by these hard bones. I could once sit on anything and pretty much be comfortable. Now I need to add padding;
  8. I sag; okay, I’ve left my fifties behind so that’s not a surprise but losing weight does rather bring home what an unrelenting mistress gravity is. My neck makes me look marsupial;
  9. Friends don’t know what to say; of course they notice but no one comments. I found that surprising at first. I mean I’d not said I was losing weight. I thought it was bloody obvious. Eventually I mentioned  it, sort of in passing to a good friend as we went to watch some rugby. He looked utterly relieved. He assumed I’d contracted some awful wasting disease. Now I wonder if that is what everyone thinks. So I’m on the horns of a dilemma. If I say ‘hey look at me’ most of my friends will do what they’ve always done if they think I’m boasting – take the mickey mercilessly; if I don’t and they don’t comment, are they watching me to see if I’ll peg out at any moment?
  10. So I’ve started mentioning it, sort of casually. And happily most people are pleased…  for five minutes before they start on about how did I do it and why they can’t. And it soon becomes apparent that this whole thing makes them feel just a  little uncomfortable; which then makes me wonder if they wouldn’t have preferred the wasting disease; at least that way they could pity me.

and the old..

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published three anthologies of short stories and a memoir of my mother. More will appear soon. I will try and continue to blog regularly at geofflepard.com about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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52 Responses to 10 things I didn’t consider when losing weight

  1. Ritu says:

    So many things to consider His Geoffleship ! I was interested to see my sugar bag loss and I’m just shy of 14 kilos!!! That’s a bit mad!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Erika Kind says:

    Haha! Just a warning for everyone who is on a diet… lol! You look great, Geoffle (but you already did 😉)

    Liked by 2 people

  3. davidprosser says:

    Congratulations, that’s a heck of weight loss. I wish I could do the same as my spare tyre now looks like the Michelin man.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Looking good Geoff. Well done but I know a lot of marsupials and your neck isn’t that hairy.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Such a great observation. When someone is young(ish) and loses weight, we are happy for them, give them our congrats. When they are old(er), it always goes to “Oh, no, what if he’s sick ? Should I mention the weight loss? “….Ugh. Humans !!
    p.s. I think you look great in both pics.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Congrats and you look very fit. There are lots of sad people waiting for you to donate those too large clothing and they won’t mind if they are too loose or too tight. You’ll be contributing to the cause and the economy when you purchase new threads. 🙂 Win, win. Now you just have to maintain. ;(

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Yes, it is quite the problem as how to tell you notice one’s weight loss when you don’t know the reason for the loss. If they are sick, you feel angst mentioning it. If they have been dieting they are so happy that you noticed. Whenever, I see a woman I haven’t seen for a long time I always tell her she looks like she has lost weight, because I find women are always trying to lose weight!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Jools says:

    You know I know how good this all feels Geoff. Big congratulations from another ‘loser’. Will talk again very soon about that guest post.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. trifflepudling says:

    !! I didn’t need to wonder for too long (you looked svelter in the birthday bash photos) as the Textiliste told me! It’s nice if people are concerned, though, but at the same time brings the old aging (Am. sp.) home to one. I think your feet seem smaller in the shoes because the 12 kilos isn’t pressing down on them (via gravity)? Very well done – your system must be pleased!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I’ve lost 22 kilos with another weigh in tonight (though not hopeful).
    Know what you mean about no bum and all bones (over 15 years have lost a whopping 14 inches off my backside), and can touch my toes for the first time in years! I hate shopping for clothes so making do with bagginess until they wear out. Elasticated waists are great for tying the knot!

    Liked by 2 people

  11. FlorenceT says:

    Geoff, definitely not a wasting disease…looking good! I need the secret to staying with the ‘program’ – guessing you have one 😊?

    Liked by 1 person

  12. YOU look m.a.r.v.e.l.o.u.s. 😀 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  13. cheyenne65 says:

    You look great and the marsupial neck had me laughing out loud. Great thoughts!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Mary Smith says:

    Well done, you! That’s a lot of sugar bags to lose. Afraid there’s not much to be done about a bony bum and gravity, though.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. I love this. In an evil way. “Some 12 kilos have just evaporated” I would rate akin to “I turned my back for just one second and my investments tripled in value” or “That felony charge just went away for no reason at all”. You’re my hero 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Well, I’m glad you’re not dying. That means there will be more books and posts to make me snort my morning coffee coming along. Though that too may be changing – I’ve just been gifted a little espresso pot and now the morning lounge has become a morning slurp and we are up and at ’em running!! I’ve been on a slow downhill slide with weight for over a year – so slow that sometimes you’d swear a milligram loss is nothing at all …… It’s harder for us women of course our hips and bums hang onto the lard! Enjoy the shopping 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  17. Brilliant Geoff.. looking spiffing.. and as to the downsides.. we should all be so lucky.. In the blogger tonight.

    Liked by 2 people

  18. I never even thought you looked overweight, but well done on the loss of all that sugar. Because I haven’t seen you in a long time, I’ll probably notice the difference and ask you “how did you do it and why doesn’t it work for me?” 🙄.

    Liked by 2 people

  19. Congratulations Geoff, you look great! Bloody WP had unfollowed you for me so I have missed a lot of your posts ( I should have known that you hadn’t gone quiet deliberately). 😡😡😡

    Liked by 2 people

  20. Pingback: Smorgasbord Blogger Daily – 8th March 2017 – Olga Nunez Miret, Geoff Le Pard, D.G. Kaye, Christy Birmingham and Norah Colvin | Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life

  21. Well done, Geoff. It’s bloody hard to lose all that weight – and, honestly, you don’t look THAT ill.

    Liked by 2 people

  22. Hahaha! 😀 People don’t mention this stuff, Geoff! You nailed it with those last two points. Laughing so hard right now. But, hey, loss of all that sugar looks great on you. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  23. dgkaye says:

    There are 2 sides to every coin, just as in life, Geoff. Women who obsess about their weight as they age know the secret, ‘don’t lose too much’, better to keep a little padding than have our faces fall, LOL. Gravity will get us all! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  24. LucciaGray says:

    Congratulations on losing so many kilos! You must tell us your secret. I count my losses by the 100 grams and it’s so hard to achieve!

    Liked by 1 person

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