Geoffle 6.0, the Reboot

Posted on Nov 30, 2016 by TanGental

geoff-and-jenz

Ok, time for a moment of self-indulgence. By some off-kilter astro-clock I’m told I have collected 60 New Years on this fast moving lump of rock. As the heading suggests I’d rather think of that as Geoffrey 6.0, the Reboot while I hurtle into another decade of caking making and taking, dancing and prancing and adding to my collection of ‘every day is Saturday’ time-fillers.

And on momentous occasions such as this, now that my eye-tests are free and as a Londoner my freedom pass is but a click away, I intend to take a moment to expound on a life philosophy.

I’m not someone taken much by grand schemes, anything organised or supernatural or indeed much that is not susceptible to ridicule so in writing this I expect to be teased, laughed at and generally the subject of incessant and, hopefully, complete mockery.

But I did ask myself the other day what characteristics do I think have helped me reach this point on the Grand Bannister of Life without too many splinters perforating my arse. So here we go:

  • optimism: not everyone’s cup of tea and I understand that there’s a middle ground haunted by the dullards who count themselves as realists before reaching the mind-grinders who are pessimists but honestly, it’s one life, it might end any second in a death both tragic and comic so, smile and squeeze out all the juices now; Half full? Half empty? Pah! Tosh!! It’s overflowing
  • resilience: you don’t walk through as many doors as I have without the odd one swinging back and smacking you on the nose. I learnt early that you still need to walk through the door. And if you can avoid kicking the sodding thing on the way past, so much the better because..
  • do not, under any circumstances, beat your head against a brick wall (or kick a swinging door): because, dear reader the wall doesn’t give a hoot and it never hurts the wall. Walk away and find something soft and spongy to argue with, or debate over, because at least there’s some chance the soft and spongy might give a little
  • be generous: my old man had an aphorism for every occasion: here the apposite one would be ‘always leave a man with his trousers’ – never just take, give at least a little and preferably a lot. You’ll be amazed how good it feels and how often there is a surprising return, but…
  • do not give and expect a return: because, if you condition your generosity you are liable to be disappointed
  • respect, like trust, is earned: and like wisdom is not a dictate of age, authority, position in life or any other criteria. And the more senior, educated, affluent, or powerful you are the greater the requirement on you to make it easier for others who might be less fortunate or in a less exalted position. I would modify the old adage ‘with power, comes responsibility’ by saying that ‘ with every ounce of power comes a tonne of responsibility’. The scales should not be tipped in favour of those who already have.
  • and what would be my motto? I was once asked what I’d learnt from my father than had stood me in good stead in life and after a little, but some relatively deep thinking, I replied:

speak when you are spoken to and confess your farts

In many ways that sums us both up.

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline. I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy. I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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55 Responses to Geoffle 6.0, the Reboot

  1. susieshy45 says:
    Nov 30, 2016 at 8:04 am

    Congratulations and happy birthday. Loved your list especially the part about giving without thinking of getting something in return.
    Susie

    Like

  2. Ritu says:
    Nov 30, 2016 at 8:20 am

    You are most wonderful His Geoffleship!!! The reboot 6.0 will be a most magnificent Geoffles! Love ya! Happy birthday!!!! 🎂🎂🎂🎂

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Sacha Black says:
    Nov 30, 2016 at 8:39 am

    hahahaha that last line is hilarious! Love your motto. Great life lessons to have learnt, you are so old and wise my dear friend. Oh, not old. Sorry I mean young. YOUNG dammit. Have an amazing day kiddo. xoxox

    Liked by 3 people

  4. thecontentedcrafter says:
    Nov 30, 2016 at 8:42 am

    Ah, the fabulous sixties, when life is just – well – fabulous! But only for those who have just such a collection of life hacks as you have now shared 🙂 Rock on sir – and keep on farting and confessing!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Sue Vincent says:
    Nov 30, 2016 at 8:44 am

    Hppy birthday, Geoffle 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  6. trifflepudling says:
    Nov 30, 2016 at 9:47 am

    Happy Birthday to a Diamond Geezer! Hope you and the Textiliste have a great day.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. derrickjknight says:
    Nov 30, 2016 at 10:00 am

    Lovely, Geoff, you young codger. Happy Birthday. Have a great day.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Erika Kind says:
    Nov 30, 2016 at 10:15 am

    Such wonderful ways of going through life, Geoffle! And I love your father’s quote!

    Liked by 2 people

  9. davidprosser says:
    Nov 30, 2016 at 10:16 am

    The latest reboot has left you very profound Geoff, almost like being grown up. I don’t recall a similar reboot back when I reached my momentous bus pass age so perhaps was out that day resulting in my still juvenile behaviour.
    Have a fantastic Birthday and prepare yourself for the next biggie in 5 years.
    Hugs

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Norah says:
    Nov 30, 2016 at 10:36 am

    Happy birthday, Geoff! It’s a well-earned milestone. I wish you a wonderful decade. I agree with every ounce of your advice, even the last that made me laugh. It reminds me of an Australian comedian form the 80s, George Smilovici, who had a routine “I’m tuff”. The crowd would call out, “How tuff are you?” One of his responses was “I’m so tuff I own up to other people’s farts.” There’s probably no need to do that. I’ve just tried to source a clip for you, and there’s a good one there, but he’s not owning up to any farts in it.
    Have a great birthday!

    Liked by 1 person

    • TanGental says:
      Nov 30, 2016 at 2:41 pm

      I’ll look him up. He’ll probably blow me away

      Liked by 1 person

      • Norah says:
        Dec 1, 2016 at 6:51 am

        You might change your opinion of me forever! Funny thing was, we saw him perform at a shopping centre and he was very funny and the show was family-friendly, so I bought a couple of his LPs (before CDs!!!) When I got home I was totally dumbfounded. It wasn’t quite what my genteel ears expected and the second LP did not make it to those for whom I’d intended the purchase!

        Liked by 1 person

  11. pensitivity101 says:
    Nov 30, 2016 at 10:53 am

    Happy Birthday Geoff. Welcome to the Sexygenarians (I hit the mark in May).

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Dylan Hearn says:
    Nov 30, 2016 at 12:21 pm

    Happy birthday, Geoffle. Sixty years young with the mind and body of a fifty-nine year old. I would have thought your motto would have been “Never miss the opportunity to catch forty winks.”

    Liked by 2 people

  13. gordon759 says:
    Nov 30, 2016 at 3:22 pm

    Or
    dico autem vobis locuti sunt, et confitebor pedit
    I think, it would look good under your crest.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Judy E Martin says:
    Nov 30, 2016 at 6:03 pm

    I think your dad was a very wise man, Geoff and you can’t go wrong following his advice! Enjoy the rest of your birthday 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Anabel Marsh says:
    Nov 30, 2016 at 8:43 pm

    Happy birthday! I’ll see how you get on before deciding whether to turn 60 myself.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. willowdot21 says:
    Nov 30, 2016 at 9:08 pm

    You are more than a star Geoff you are a planet! You are Planet wise! Your dad was a wise man too. I like the the thought of 6.0 Reboot ..help I am three years into to it too!! Be well , be happy be careful!!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. jan says:
    Nov 30, 2016 at 9:29 pm

    Looking good despite your advanced age! Have a good one. At least you haven’t started naming your farts…

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Let's CUT the Crap! says:
    Nov 30, 2016 at 10:18 pm

    Happy 6.0 Reboot. May you have many, many more. 🙂 😛
    I sort of remember my 6.0. o_O

    Liked by 2 people

  19. vanbytheriver says:
    Dec 1, 2016 at 1:38 pm

    Ahh….A Sagitarrian who made it to the 60’s…we should start a support group. Happy Belated, Geoff. Love your life philosophy. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Tara Sparling says:
    Dec 1, 2016 at 2:35 pm

    Happy birthday Geoff! Wonderful advice, as always, but this was particularly transparent – so I’m to go out immediately and buy someone a present of a pair of trousers with a picture of a door on them. Right?
    Hope the celebrations go splendiferously. You are the wittiest reboot I ever saw.

    Liked by 1 person

    • TanGental says:
      Dec 1, 2016 at 11:38 pm

      yes, that’s the ticket – there’s a line of straight legged aperture pants you can acquire from Primarni, the discount Italian branded rubbish store that will provide both easy wear and minimum draughts. They come in various sleep sizes from Sloth, through Occasional Sofa to Preternaturally Comatose – all in asylum green.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Tara Sparling says:
        Dec 1, 2016 at 11:47 pm

        I knew it. Ikea is so over. I will never wear my Bjukkerskorn plus-two-by-fours and VULVHOLMEN drainpipes again. Once again, thanks for the tips, Geoff. I can’t believe you knew I was Occasional Sofa.

        Liked by 1 person

  21. Bun Karyudo says:
    Dec 2, 2016 at 11:36 am

    Congratulations to you! Your approach to life sounds pretty sensible and has obviously stood you in good stead. I especially liked the bits about optimism and generosity. That kind of attitude is bound to make life more fun to experience for you and for everyone around you too.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Teagan Geneviene says:
    Dec 2, 2016 at 5:14 pm

    Geoff, I’m sorry to be late for your 6.0! That’s a great way to look at it. I might borrow that. 😀 Belated wishes for a wonderful birthday. Mega hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Hugh's Views and News says:
    Dec 4, 2016 at 1:14 pm

    I so do learn from you, oh great one. Any advice on going through revolving doors? 😀
    I hope you had a splendid Birthday. Apologies for being a little late, but it’s been a bit of a week…because I was walking in your footsteps. Enjoy the 60s.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Autism Mom says:
    Dec 4, 2016 at 5:54 pm

    Sage words, my friend! Thank you for sharing them and many many more.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Rachael Ritchey says:
    Dec 10, 2016 at 4:22 am

    Happy Belated Birthday! You’re reboot is encouraging. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Graeme Cumming says:
    Dec 11, 2016 at 7:28 pm

    Some wise words there, Geoff and I endorse all of them except the last – isn’t that what the dog’s for?

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Al Lane says:
    Dec 23, 2016 at 10:54 pm

    Great advice, in your own inimitable style, as ever.

    Optimism, you say? The blinder, the better, I say! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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