When a man loves a woman #microfiction

Jane Doughtery’s prompt this week is

jane-d-underwater

Caleb Spume led a sheltered life, absorbing 19th century fiction and eschewing the internet. Dolores Pebble dreamt of finding a Regency man and dressed accordingly.

At a Jane Austen revival and mindfullness retreat, an immediate attraction drew them together and, over a spicy fruit cup, they coyly tested the other’s boundaries.

To their friends’ delight and their families’ relief, their courtship moved through carefully plotted stages and, after six months of stepping out, Caleb announced he and Dolores were to wed. Banns were read, the Church booked and festivities planned. But as the date approached, Caleb became distracted and then anxious. Up to this point his reading had given him all the guidance he needed to live the life he craved. What though was he meant to do on his wedding night to ‘satisfy’ his bride? It couldn’t be food, though that was the only time he had heard her express herself satisfied.

In despair he took himself to the art gallery. In his limited experience art was generally more helpful than novels when it came to matters physical. He absorbed his lessons well.

And so, the party over, Dolores found herself standing in her bridal suite, awaiting her groom who had disappeared into the bathroom. ‘Close your eyes my love’

She shivered, lips puckered as she heard the door creak open. Moments extended to millennia and cramp took hold of her jaw. She ventured a peek and was astonished to see the man she loved naked in front of her, a posey of flowers in his hands held high over her head. He didn’t seem inclined to move.

Gently Dolores stepped forward. ‘Caleb, darling.’

‘Yes my sweet.’

‘I think you should drop the flowers.’ She lowered her gaze. ‘And perhaps you should pop your willy back on.’

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline. I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy. I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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31 Responses to When a man loves a woman #microfiction

  1. Ritu says:

    Giggling!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh dear. I have to admit, I did wonder about that too…

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Susanne says:

    What a withering end! Giggling with Ritu.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Erika Kind says:

    Funny 😃

    Liked by 1 person

  5. M. L. Kappa says:

    Marino Marini?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ha ha ha. I guess his spirits sagged. o_O

    Liked by 1 person

  7. willowdot21 says:

    OMG a step too far!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. 🙂 AAArrrghhh

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Where else would you go with a photo like that? (And by “you”, I do mean you, not the universal you.) 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Pingback: Microfiction challenge Under the sea: the entries – Jane Dougherty Writes

  11. I, too, did wonder about his straight line front. I must admit, since we are being rather candid, first “thing” I noticed about him.
    Great story by the way. A smiler, a giggler, then a out loud laughter.

    Liked by 1 person

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