Another Bun in the Oven #microcosms #flashfiction

Posted on Oct 13, 2016 by TanGental

This is my entry to the latest Microcosms prompt. If you fancy a go look here

Baking Baby (phrase: You’re either cooking or just heating up)

‘So,’ Martine squinted at the small print, ‘pour contents in the pan and turn on the heat.’ She tipped out the wobbly gloop and added three strands of her hair and a splash of her husband’s essence from a jar on the windowsill.
‘What’s that Mum?’ Gordon peered over her shoulder.
‘Hmm? Oh, I thought it was time you had a sibling. So I grabbed a cyborg-sister boil-in-a-bag on the way home.’
Gordon pulled a face. ‘A sister? Geez, why a girl?’
Martine studied the instructions and adjusted the nob. ‘You know you need a balanced familial experience. Your father’s had his wisdom boosted and I’ve had new empathy implants so we thought this was a good time… Oh sheesh, damn.’
The gloop had begun to bubble over. Gordon grabbed the handle as Martine swivelled the dial but not before a portion splashed the hob. A face appeared in a bubble and a breathy voice intoned, ‘That’s my cute dimples gone. I’ll now have your stupid chin.’
Martine bent to the level of the face. ‘Sorry.’
The fridge opened and handed Gordon an egg and tuna sandwich. ‘In Domestic Conception they said you need to concentrate for the best results.’
Martine turned down the flame and the face began to shrink. ‘I’ll do this later.’
‘Oh great,’ the face hissed. ‘make your mind up. Are you cooking me now or heating me up later?’
Martine and Gordon exchanged a look. ‘Maybe you’re right. Maybe we should go for another boy.’
Gordon tapped his cup which refilled with apple juice. ‘Mrs Goldberg says reheating causes lumpy personalities.’
The pan shook. ‘That is so not fair.’
‘Oh do shut it,’ said Gordon as he put on the lid.

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline. I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy. I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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15 Responses to Another Bun in the Oven #microcosms #flashfiction

  1. Ritu says:
    Oct 13, 2016 at 5:30 pm

    Seriously… where does your mind go??!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. pensitivity101 says:
    Oct 13, 2016 at 5:55 pm

    So funny! I love your imagination.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. thecontentedcrafter says:
    Oct 13, 2016 at 7:35 pm

    Empathy implants hey? Hope that catches on. I could do with a wisdom boost ………

    Like

  4. davidprosser says:
    Oct 13, 2016 at 9:33 pm

    Why do you persist in letting that imagination out to play without supervision Geoff. The dogs and armed guards are there for a reason.
    Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Mick Canning says:
    Oct 14, 2016 at 10:50 am

    I fear it’s only a matter of time…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hugh's Views and News says:
    Oct 14, 2016 at 4:47 pm

    Seriously, Geoff, all this blogging is doing something brilliant to your mind. This is one of the best.

    Liked by 1 person

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