The Experimental lexicographer #microfiction #shortstory

Jane Dougherty has another picture for us to play with….


The Experimental Lexicographer

‘Excuse me, but what are you doing?’

‘Wrong question, madam.’


‘You’re approaching this from the wrong direction. You should ask who I am?’

‘I should ask why you’re here. You’ll be drowned soon. There’s more water coming.’

‘I know. It’s glorious, isn’t it? I heard them pull out the plug a while ago so the bath water should be here soon.’

‘Are you going to stand here and be drowned or come with me to safety?’

‘Nope, I told you. You’re asking the wrong…’

‘Who in the name of Hades are you then?’


‘Oh give me a break.’

‘Now, come on. This is 1908. You wouldn’t use ‘give me a break’ in 1908, would you?’

‘I know that but I’m not writing me, am I? It’s him. The Writer. Never does any research, just throws concepts on paper and expects people to buy into it.’

Buy into it? Oh come on. Surely he can do better than that. Who are you meant to be anyway?’

‘Mary Poppins, here to rescue you from the bathwater.’

‘Pathetic. You’re fictional.’

‘At least I’m of my time. You look like an extra from Dr Zhivago.’

‘You can’t blame the Writer for the prompt picture. Anyway, I’m more Chekovian, don’t you think?’

‘More like that bearded bloke in Fiddler on the Roof.’

‘Get you. At least those songs won Oscars. A spoonful of sugar. Perlease.’

‘Did they won Oscars? Or is he relying on Wiki for his research again?’

‘That’s probably true. Look, he’s put us here. Do we stay and risk him killing one or both of us off, or give this up for a bad job?’

‘Canute never succeeded, did he?’


‘And she gets blown away by the East Wind?’


‘So tea and scones?’

‘Maybe a movie?’


‘Freedom at last. And those writers are always going on about how the characters take them over.’


‘Did they say that in 1908?’

‘They do now.’

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published two anthologies of short stories, Life, in a Grain of Sand and Life in a Flash. More will appear soon, including a memoir of my mother's last years. I will try and continue to blog regularly at about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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33 Responses to The Experimental lexicographer #microfiction #shortstory

  1. A happy story with laughs. Thanks Geoff 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask, but does anybody else think of you as Def Leppard?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. esthernewton says:

    Brilliant! Your story really made me smile. Thanks, Geoff 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ritu says:

    Another corker His Geoffleship!!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Fabulous stuff. Made me grin.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Michael says:

    Of course they said such things in 1908, just said them with strong accents…

    Liked by 1 person

  7. What are you doing here? What? It reads like you’re having way too much fun.

    “It’s him. The Writer. Never does any research, just throws concepts on paper and expects people to buy into it.” 😀 I love that.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Lovely, Geoff. Completely different to your usual pieces of Flash Fiction. It was almost as if time was standing still in the fictional world while they waited for the writer to decide their fate.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Ali Isaac says:

    Madness! As your stories always are. 😁 Loved it, Geoff.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Pingback: Microfiction challenge Freedom: the entries – Jane Dougherty Writes

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