Microcosms 37, anpother little flash
Home Town Advantage
Dugald and Donald were born on the same day, with Dugald appearing first by no more than five minutes. On their first day at school they fought over the the sandpit. From that day on, Dugald came out on top.
In the nativity, he played Shepherd one, and Donald two.
Teamed in the three-legged race, Dugald’s free leg crossed the line first.
Dugald joined the local authority a day before Donald, and was granted a pay rise and his own stapler first.
Donald bought his first car, only to be overtaken by Dugald in a newer model.
Donald despaired of ever coming out on top. Finally, he joined the Labour Party as prospective councillor, only to lose to Dugald’s Conservative campaign. He left town, finally accepting he would never win.
When he was diagnosed with cancer, he checked home. Dugald had been diagnosed a week earlier. As he weakened and he knew the end was nigh, he forced himself back home. He wasn’t sure why but as his son drove him down the High Street they noticed a funeral cortège. Dugald, the town hero was being buried. He’d gone first too.
Donald didn’t hesitate. ‘Follow.’
In the cemetery, Donald held back, but someone spotted him, encouraging him forward. They offered him a shovel of soil. His son offered an arm but, frail as he was, he waved him away and tottered to the lip.
As he stood there, staring at the ostentatious coffin, someone muttered, ‘poor old soul’ and pointed at Donald.
So near his end, or so the gathered mourners assumed, Donald’s bodily control had broken down. He pissed slowly but copiously onto his shoes and then into the grave. And, for the first time in his life, he looked down on Dugald and he smiled.