Jane has prompted us with this picture. I’m afraid I have rather ignored the words she suggested.
Margery Plankton was, in one dimension, a podiatrist. In another she undertook the role of Xenata, Goddess of Equality, Diversity and Being Mildly Content With Your Lot. It was as Goddess – a nomenclature she was seeking to change to Godbeing – that she struggled to juggle her responsibilities. Gods, the booming bearded sort, sat on mountains and pondered. Goddesses, by contrast, held the universe together while ensuring their pondering colleagues didn’t slip too far into melancholia and resort to starting plagues and randomly distributing thunderbolts.
Currently Margery’s biggest problem was Zunder, God of Timekeeping (who doubled as Gordon, a second level timetabler at London Underground). They were creating a new universe and Zunder had announced his plan to trial a new day-night split. He proposed scrapping the tried and tested dawn in favour of what he described as a proper day break: ‘a real mother of a start’ incorporating the latest in micro-apocalypses and hybridised sunrises. ‘They’ll love it. One moment it’s as black as Monder’s armpit (Monder, God of Gloom and Press Relations), the next it’s like a mini Big Bang only with fewer gravitational complications.’
Since no one ever listened to Zunder – partly because he spoke at a level that vaporised eardrums – his plan was waved through leaving Margery to try and find a way to stop the nonsense.
Sadly she knew that, despite her credentials as a feminist life force, she would have to utilise her feminine wiles to defeat Gordon. After all people wanted a slow easy start to their days, not some universal alarm clock blasting them into consciousness.
It was the day of the Launch. Gordon had all the pyrotechnics in position. Monder sat on a crumbling outcrop and moaned about the poor light for the TV people while Margery had positioned herself on the far horizon. Gordon squinted to where she stood, wondering what she planned. He couldn’t wait though. He fiddled with the clasp and released the Sun to make its dazzling appearance.
As he did so Margery invoked all her Goddess’ powers, channeling her energies into her long-suppressed beauty gene. She pulled open her gown as the first rays broke across the valley and held her arms apart to let the beam strike her Magnificence. Gordon gawped, Monder blanched and the Sun hesitated and looked around for instructions. ‘Should I continue?’ He squeaked.
Gordon peered through his fingers. She did have a truly otherworldly Magnificence. Was the world ready for this every morning he asked himself? ‘Maybe we should wait. Carry out some more tests.’
Far away Margery nodded. Not a bad start to the day, she thought. Though disrobing in such a harsh light did make her realise she needed to get her corns sorted.