A poem, of sorts #poetry

…inspired by a fellow blogger, Judy Martin  and her poetry, this popped, fully formed into my head. I’m not entirely sure that’s a good thing but there’s advice here to heed…

Never pick your nose in public
Or roll it in a ball
And if you must, have a pee
Just not against the wall.

Your zits are not for squeezing
In any public place
And if you have the urge to cough
Just not in someone’s face.

Ear wax is not a toffee sub
However it might seem
And never ever release a fart
In the presence of a Queen.

But the best advice you’ll ever get
From out a fortune cookie
Al fresco snogging is ok
If it doesn’t lead to nookie.

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published three anthologies of short stories and a memoir of my mother. More will appear soon. I will try and continue to blog regularly at geofflepard.com about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
This entry was posted in humour, poems, poetry and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to A poem, of sorts #poetry

  1. Susanne says:

    But no nookie Alfresco is like chili without tabasco!


  2. Ritu says:

    Perfect Geoffles! Loved it!


  3. Class all the way Mr Le Pard! 😀


  4. Lucid Gypsy says:

    Excellent advice for boys in puberty, should be posted in every school!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I love it, Geoff! Those lines “And never ever release a fart In the presence of a Queen.”
    I so agree, so don’t even ever think about it in front of me 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  6. M. L. Kappa says:

    Very inspired!!!


  7. Mick Canning says:

    Oh, my life would have been so different if only I had had this advice as a youngster!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Norah says:

    How wonderful it found you fully formed! Hilarious!


  9. roweeee says:

    What a fabulous poem, Geoff. I should pass it onto Dorothy Dix. I had to seek her advice before I wrote with trepidation to Sylvia Plath. She has quite a famous 10 points on happiness which I’ve posted. This poem would be the perfect accompaniment! I will definitely give it to Jonathon and it’s better than Oscar Wilde’s advice to the young…no surprises there!
    xx Ro

    Liked by 1 person

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