Two into one: will it go? #cleavepoem #poetry

Jane Doughtery has given us the challenge to write a cleave poem. This is an odd form, two poems cleaved into one. You can read it as a whole or as two separate poems. At least that’s the idea. I’ve tried two


Cranes like widows/bowed by age

Slowly unwinding/with the weight of years

Each ticking click/like rusting cogs

Extends its arm/in painful stages

Towards the burden/the old man knows

Today’s task/there’s no other way

Just like yesterday/just to stay alive


Or this where I have tried to write two contrasting poems and meld them into one whole


Happiness is the/ egg 


Cup of/broken




From our hearts/expunged

Hmm, tricky, damn tricky


About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published two anthologies of short stories, Life, in a Grain of Sand and Life in a Flash. More will appear soon, including a memoir of my mother's last years. I will try and continue to blog regularly at about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
This entry was posted in poems, poetry and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to Two into one: will it go? #cleavepoem #poetry

  1. Al Lane says:

    I think the first one works better than the second (in fact, it works really well)… well done for trying. Tricky form!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I thought much of the first poem worked really well read as one piece – individually read, both are really good. The second one I preferred the versions separated…… Of course, I’m no expert 🙂

    Tricky, damn tricky is right. You get lots of points for giving such a mind bender a go I say!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sacha Black says:

    OMG this blows my mind – I could not do this. SO impressed Geoffle 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I warned you! I think I agree that the first one works best as straight poetry, but the second one is a very good stab at getting the two halves going in opposite directions, which I think gives it a deeper dimension.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. merrildsmith says:

    I thought you did a great job with the first one, Geoff. It is a tricky form, but I like it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Autism Mom says:

    Oh I love these! Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Mick Canning says:

    Very impressed!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Pingback: Poetry challenge Cleave Poem: the entries – Jane Dougherty Writes

  9. rivrvlogr says:

    Both are excellent.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Janice says:

    I like both of your poems very much–tricky but successful. The crane image really works!

    Liked by 1 person

If you would like to reply please do so here

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.