The Wrinkles Lament

When we gaze in the mirror while shaving

We mustn’t get too uptight

Though the sight makes us weep

Beauty’s only skin deep

And we’re bound to look better tonight.

*

Sparse locks on an over-wide forehead

Where once clustered nonchalant curls,

If dissuaded from roaming

By judicious combing

Just might deceive shortsighted girls.

*

We’ve always had finely drawn features

But the nostrils in that Roman beak

Which in wild youth would flare

Are today full of hair

And constantly, saltily leak.

*

Our eyes, which held Loves sweet secrets

Were mysterious, soft – dark as night

Niw they’re bloodshot and runny

And one’s a bit funny

Looking left when the other looks right.

*

These firm, chiselled mouths show good breeding

But today they can spoil adventures

For though you feel sporty

It’s hard to be naughty

If Β you find you’ve forgotten your dentures.

*

Girlish breath in the ear was exciting

In our youth, we recall with nostalgia

But now, poor old mugs

If you blow down our lugs

We’ll get an attack of neuralgia.

*

But it’s wrong to be introspective

Giving too much weight to the truth

Lets stop shaving today

Chuck our razors away

Let beardy revisit his youth.

My father wrote a lot of poetry, some serious, some frivolous. I offer this one for those, mostly males, feeling a little less than brisk just now.

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published three books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars and Salisbury Square. In addition I published an anthology of short stories, Life, in a Grain of Sand this summer. A fourth book will be out soon. This started life as a novel in a week on this blog and will follow later this year. I blog about all sorts at geofflepard.com and welcome all comments. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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34 Responses to The Wrinkles Lament

  1. Sue Vincent says:

    Just brilliant πŸ˜€

    Like

  2. As a less-than-brisk male, I love this!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. colinandray says:

    Very good! I used to have shoulder length dark brown hair, but concepts changed and more recently I have kept it very short. It has now gone grey on the sides, and mostly just gone on the top. Your poem was very apt because I have decided that whatever hair I now have, I will let it once more grow to my shoulders!!!! Clearly your Dad knew exactly what he was talking about! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Great to take your dad out for a stroll on the airwaves. More power to both of you!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. ellenbest24 says:

    I’m not sexist I loved this and guess what… i am a woman. πŸ˜‡

    Liked by 1 person

  6. jan says:

    How true, how true! Thanks for my morning chuckle!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Your Dad was a genius. I imagine he wrote Letters to the Editor in iambic pentameter. I’m off to shave now.

    Like

  8. Oh, how I wish I could have given your dad a poetry challenge or two, Geoff. I can see where your humour comes from.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. FlorenceT says:

    A smile for my morning… thank you! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  10. So much explained in this outing from your dad πŸ™‚ Made me chortle into my coffee and feel quite frisky!!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Wonderful. Just the facts. Impartial. πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Miriam says:

    As a woman I loved this. Made me smile. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Charli Mills says:

    Alas, you men can grow a beard! πŸ™‚ Your dad had clever wit.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. davidprosser says:

    Beauty’s only skin deep And we’re bound to look better tonight.
    I don’t think my mirror is working Geoff. Do you think they should be under guarantee.? Will you act for me (NWNF) if I sue them? I look more haggard in the evening than in the morning and believe me the morning is bad enough. Someone should be held responsible, not me of course.
    Hugs

    Like

  15. I have no idea what you’re on about…

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Mick Canning says:

    Hah! Superb, Geoff!

    Liked by 1 person

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