There’s a thing going around. Not one of those snot-dribbly chest-like-an-out-of-date-yoghurt-carton thingummies but a fad. Or maybe a fab. I’m feeling emotionally dyslexic today – or toady. Yes that’s it I’m feeling toady.
And I only need a nudge, much like any peckish toad in a fly farm, to jump in.
Just before I address the topic de jour, talking about toads reminds me of one of our cats – Crocket possibly – who dragged every living beast he could through the cat flap. I became used, if not inured, to finding bits of shrews and mice viscera and dismantled stag beetles on the doormat. Once we struck lucky with a pack of four half defrosted pork chops but generally it wasn’t exactly welcome. Then, one Sunday morning, feeling a touch dusty brained after a jolly Saturday night, I eased my way downstairs to make tea.
I’m rather myopic at the best of times and this wasn’t one of them. So when I came across a neatly heaped turd on the penultimate step I cursed the cat. I toyed with the idea of pretending I’d missed it and leaving it for the next person to descend but guilt made me collect a bucket and disinfectant. What to use to scrape the heap into a bag though? There was a cardboard box, awaiting recycling so I ripped off one flap and returned to the crime scene. Still practising my oaths I knelt down and presented the edge of the cardboard to the faecal mountain.
It took a moment to realise this wasn’t an alien disguised as a pooh but a “£$$^&*()))%^^ toad, dragged in by the cat and allowed to roam.
Sorry, where was I?
Oh yes, bloggers being visual and aural. Well, why not? I happen to have this recording, from a couple of years ago when the Vet moved into a flat at Uni. At the time she asked for some guidance on cooking some of her favourite things as well as some help with the news of the day. So I did this thing – Geoff The Chef – and put it on Youtube (I doubt you’ll find it now). It’s a bit long, this is a snippet to give you some idea. To give context: this was 2013 so bear that in mind when hearing the news; I’m talking to my daughter hence ‘darling’ and Rob is the Vet’s boyfriend; and the character making a cameo appearance at the end is the Lawyer on a revision break from his legal exams. If the Rhubarb Squares appeal to you, let me know. I doubt Mary Berry will be concerned.
Oh and the tache? Well that was part of Movember, a movement to grow moustaches in November for charity. I thought about keeping mine but the Vet had other ideas..