December 2, 2015 prompt: In 99 words (no more, no less) write a pirate story. It can be about pirates or piracy; modern or of yore. Swashbuckling, parrots and rum can be involved or maybe you’ll invent details beyond standard pirates.
This is the prompt from Charli Mills at the Carrot Ranch. And before we get to the flash I want you to indulge me (like you have a choice?). I think I may have indicated I have a small but recurring passion for the Adventures of Tintin by the Belgian cartoonist Hergé. In fact, if pushed to a fav, the boy reporter himself is not in my top five characters, being displaced by, in ascending order: Snowy, his dog; Professor Calculus; Thompson; his twin Thomson and, top of the pile, Captain Haddock.
Now Haddock’s finest hour is, undoubtedly, when he pursues the treasure hunted by his Ancestor Sir Francis Haddock who fought the Pirate, Red Rackham in a double header: The Secret of the Unicorn, followed by Red Rackham’s Treasure. Hence the piratical link.
And why is Haddock top of the pile? Because, he is the most creative oath creator in literature (Malcolm Tucker in The Thick of It was creative but rather R rated). He has his own thesaurus, here. Some may not be politically correct now (he has been swearing since the 1930s) but he does have a range…
Addle-pated lumps of anthracite
But his most famous (out of some 240 plus) has to be
Billions of bilious blue blistering barnacles in a thundering typhoon
And so to Mary North and the flash…
What’s the bigger crime?
‘Everybody does it.’ Penny’s face told of her fury.
‘Illegal downloads are a crime. It’s piracy…’
Penny made a ‘W’ sign and stormed out.
Later Mary knocked and entered Penny’s bedroom. ‘What is it? Come on, I know you.’
Penny avoided eye contact, shrugging. ‘Like you care what I do? I get you have to look after Charlotte but traipsing all the way to Ireland? What about me?’
Mary stroked her daughter’s foot, pleased she let her. ‘Ok but that doesn’t excuse theft…’
Penny snatched her foot away, tears forming. ‘She’s the thief, stealing you. Your sister’s the pirate.’