Nanthology – The Houdini of Hounslow

Nanowrimo is a compelling challenge to write 50,000 words during November: that’s an average of 1667 words per day. My plan is to write a set of 30 short stories each 1667 words long instead.  Each story comes from a prompt, a lot from fellow bloggers.


Day Fourteen

This idea came from Helen who read ‘The Final Journey’ at Esther Newton’s Blog. She suggested a story based on her grandfather, a former POW who kept ‘escaping’ from his nursing home

The Houdini of Hounslow

Hounslow Boy’s Home 1931

‘You ready?’

‘I ain’t sure, Jim.’

‘You comin’ or ain’t you?’

‘I suppose. I just never done nuffin’ like this.’

‘S’easy. Just grab the top of the wall.’

‘Oi! What are you boys doing?’

‘Oh cripes it’s Wacko. Jim? Jim?’

He’d escaped. Like so many times. Over the wall, onto the path, dodging any obstacle. He laughed, the moon catching his smile. He’d pay. Of course he’d pay but the price was worth it for the feeling of being free.

47 Gracefield Terrace 1940

‘I’m not sure, Jim. Really. If my dad…’

‘Gie’s a kiss then.’

‘What if you don’t get back?’

‘I’m coming back, girl. Don’t you think otherwise.’

‘But if you didn’t and we hadn’t…’

‘Up to you. I don’t mind…’

‘We’ll be quick. Marje says you can’t get up the duff if you’re quick.’

‘Alright. Hold still…’

‘Ethel? What’s going on? Why are you talking?’

‘My dad. Oh god. Go…!’

‘Hey! Is that Jim Patterson? Wait till I get my hands…’

‘No chance grandpa. See you Ethel. Be careful.’

Jim fiddled with his fly as he ran. The old boy’s face a pciture. Hope she doesn’t get too much a larruping for that. He’d see her right when he got back.

Stalag XII 1944

‘You ready?’

‘Sure. It’s a 27 second sweep. Two guards at 11 o’clock. Trees 400 yards. No moon. Good luck everyone.’

‘Private Patterson?’


‘Stick with me. I can speak some German. Easier that way.’

‘Yes sir.’

‘In ten, nine…GO!’

Jim ran in a semi-crouch, half an eye on the spotlight and half on the lieutenant. The lieutenant wasn’t helped by his gammy leg and began to fall behind when a shot rang out. The lieutenant crumpled with a groan.

Jim turned back. ‘Leave him Jim. He’d want you to go on.’

Jim shook his head. ‘You go Steve. Don’t worry, I’ll escape next time.’

‘How are you doing sir?’

‘Patterson, what are you doing, you bloody fool. Get away.’

‘Let’s look at you, sir, before Jerry get here. Now try not to move…’

‘No good, Patterson.’

‘You’ll be as right a rain in a day, sir. Now let’s try and stop the bleeding.’

Cries in German filled the air followed by a burst of machine gun fire and several shouts and cries. Then silence. He closed his eyes and squeezed the lieutenant’s hand.

Hounslow High Street 1946

‘Jim? Jim Patterson? Blimey. I heard you’d copped it.’

‘Ethel? Bloody hell, what happened to you?’

‘Ha! Always was the cheeky one. Four kids that’s what happened. Twins last year.’

‘Four! I didn’t know you wanted them so much.’

Ethel squeezed his arm. ‘If dad hadn’t interrupted us, I might’ve got lucky with you, eh? You might be their dad.’

Jim nodded slowly. ‘So who’s the lucky fella?’

‘Archie Peasmore. He’s a teacher. Reserved occupation and short sighted. He wanted to fight, you know.’

‘Yeah, course. Is he about. I want to congratulate him on a fine catch.’

‘ARCHIE PEASMORE put that fag out and come over here.’

Jim watched the skinny bespectacled man shuffle across, his head bowed almost as if he expected to be slapped.’

‘This here is Jim wot I told you about. He…’


‘Yer wot?’

‘That I told you about, not wot I told.’

Jim watched as Ethel’s face coloured. ‘Are you trying to embarrass me, Archie Peasmore? Because if you are…?’

‘No dear, not at all. I’m just trying to point out…’

‘Why don’t you go and find mum so we can have a nice cuppa while you take the brats to the park? Do you want a cuppa, Jim?’

But Jim had gone, smiling his gleaming smile.

A22 Blindley Heath 1954

‘What happened? It looks a right mess.’

‘No idea. One minute I’m waiting to pull out, the next this bike comes out of nowhere, no lights and just misses me but swerves in front of him… JESUS… It’s gone up in flames. Quick, I hope to god no one is still in that car.’

Jim lay still, vaguely aware of the flames engulfing his Morris Oxford, his pride and joy. He wondered about the motorbike rider who he’d narrowly missed and asked himself if he had been going too fast. His neck hurt and he wasn’t sure if he could feel his right leg. He tried a smile that turned into a grimace. Typical if he survived Germany and died in sodding Surrey.

‘He’s here. Don’t move mister. Someone’s gone for help. If you hadn’t been thrown clear you’d have roasted.’

‘The motorcyclist? How’s he?’

‘Not good. When he was thrown he hit a tree. Poor sod…’

Jim closed his eyes. One day his luck would run out.

Redhill Hospital 1958

‘Mr Patterson? Your wife asked me to have a word with you. About her morning sickness.’

‘It’s awful, ain’t it, Doctor?’

‘Yes, Mr Patterson it is. It’s very extreme and we do worry about the baby in these cases. However there is a new treatment that is garnering a lot of good reports that might help.’

‘I’m not sure, Doc. My old mum didn’t agree with fancy new potions. I sort of feel the same.’

‘Oh Mr Patterson, this is the second half of the twentieth century. I think we’ve moved beyond old wives’ superstitions, haven’t we?’

Jim lowered his head. He really didn’t want to punch a doctor. It would do his application to join the police force much good. But the arrogant know-all, calling his mum an old wife – who’d struggled to bring him and his two brothers up after his dad left – that wasn’t right. Even if she did have to stick them in that home from time to time.

‘So what’s this treatment?’

‘It’s called Thalidomide*. A miracle really…’

The Doctor looked up from his desk and his gaze met Jim’s. Jim held it, his decision depending on what happened next. The Doctor looked away.

‘We’ll manage, Doc. The old way.’

Basement flat, 54 Corporation Street, Hounslow 1970

‘I’ve had it Jim. Your drinking is too much.’

‘I’m not drunk, Sheila. Honest.  Jober as a sudge, s’me.’

‘The kid’s not stupid. Me neither. You need to get yourself clean and then maybe, but we’re going back to mother.’

Jim Patterson put the whiskey bottle to his lips, a final defiant gesture. His hand fell back as he heard the front door slam; he let the tears flow. He wasn’t drunk, not by his standards but he knew he would be later and the chances were he’d hit Sheila or the kid and then hate himself. He hated how he was, how he couldn’t hold down a job, how he could barely collect his benefit. It was easy to say why: his mum dying, losing his job with the Force but he was a better man than that. ‘Was’ being the operative word, he thought. He was just a burden and they were well off without him.

The same notion as he’d had on and off for a year came back to him in a rush. He pulled himself to his feet and stumbled, stupidly incoherent in his movements, to the kitchen. Hurrying so as not to lose motivation he pulled the wire shelves and metal trays from the oven and cleared the floor. He remembered someone saying it took only a few minutes to become unconscious and then there was no coming back. He reached for the gas-tap and stopped. He needed to block the gaps in the door. Having finished that he crawled back to the oven, turned it on and lay down with his head inside.

‘Jim? Jim? Wake up? What are you thinking?’

Jim looked at his wife’s frightened face? ‘Are we both dead?’

‘No you goon. You can’t gas yourself these days with natural gas; not now they’ve changed from town gas. A year ago and you’d have been a goner. Here, come to me.’

As Sheila cradled his head, Jim wept, ‘I will change. I’ll start at AA tomorrow. You see if I don’t.’

‘I know.’

Sunshine nursing home, Hounslow 1999

‘And if you come this way, Mr Johnson, I’ll introduce you to Jim Patterson and his bride to be.’

‘Do inmates wed, Mr Thomas?’

‘We prefer the term ‘clients’. Inmates sounds a trifle custodial. Yes, they do indeed though I’m not entirely sure this is a match made in heaven.’

‘How so?’

‘Well, apparently before the war Jim and Ethel Peasmore were sweethearts and would have wed but for Mr Patterson spending three and a bit years as a POW. He was quite the character, escaping a dozen or so times but never quite making it back. Meanwhile Ethel married a teacher, thinking he was dead. They’d not seen each other for years until Ethel joined our little community in March after her husband passed. They’re inseparable.’

‘That’s so lovely. They can catch up on all those missing years.’

‘Well, yes, in a way but, see, Jim lost the use of his legs five years ago after a fall and… come and see.’

The two men stood by the part-opened door. Ethel maintained a constant stream of chatter, barely taking a breath.

‘He doesn’t say much, does he?’

‘Could you? She’s uninterruptable that one. We all feel a bit sorry for Jim but he confirmed he is happy with the wedding plans and the Doctors are sure he knows his own mind.’

‘So when’s the big day?’

‘Tomorrow. We have a licence for civil ceremonies. Shall we say hello?’

Pushing through the door they approached Ethel and Jim. It only took a few moments to realise Jim was not asleep but dead. As they waited for the ambulance and a female staff member comforted Ethel Mr Johnson said, ‘Perhaps he had a lucky escape after all?’

*Thalidomide is an infamous drug tha was prescribed to help pregnant women who had debilitating morning sickness. It soon became associated with appalling birth defects in the new born.

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published two anthologies of short stories, Life, in a Grain of Sand and Life in a Flash. More will appear soon, including a memoir of my mother's last years. I will try and continue to blog regularly at about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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15 Responses to Nanthology – The Houdini of Hounslow

  1. Ritu says:

    I loved this Geoffles!! ☺

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You got me that time, mate 🙂 Nice one

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Helen says:

    I especially love the escape ending. Thanks for writing this.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Another wonderful read!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Charli Mills says:

    Finally escapes! But what hard twists in life and the growing impact it had. An amazing story.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. trifflepudling says:

    Best yet, imho !

    Liked by 1 person

  7. So he saved his best escape until the end. Well written, Geoff. This was a lovely story to read.

    Liked by 1 person

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