You remember back in July I warned about a subversive Blogging Group who were planning a strategic attack on our glorious freedom to remain unreal? The Bloggers Bash where bloggers actually met other bloggers and pretended to be sociable and capable of normal standards of human interactions?
Well I thought we’d seen them off. A couple of old raincoats stood under an umbrella for an hour trying to sell stupid T-shirts before slipping off for a shared peri-peri chicken and kale smoothie. They said it was well attended but I was there and no one else appeared. No one you’d want to talk to, anyway. No one who talked to me. And those photos they put up? Photo-shopped.
It had to end there, didn’t it? I mean such a failure and they were sure to give up.
Well, the word is going around that they’re thinking of having another go. They seem to have a source of funds that enables them to carry on; I suspect they sold their geoffles into slavery but, of course, there’s been a cover up. No one is speaking, which, given how indiscreet all bloggers are, is amazing.
Next year, or so I’ve heard say, on 11th June 2016, they will reconstitute the Bash in London. Well, we will fight on. It won’t be easy.
I had hoped to reactivate my BOOB (Back Off Our Blogs) but the necessary reconstruction and enhancement to give it sufficient WOBBLE (Will Only Be Bloggers ‘Llowed Entry) has undermined the support; and once we lost the B.R.A (the Blogging Rights Appeal) I had to let BOOB go.
Instead I have formed an umbrella organisation of grandiose and hubristic opportunists: The Rebels Against Such Horrors (T.R.A.S.H.). Today, Halloween, TRASH is calling on every ghostie, ghoulie, greebie and all things grimumbulous – aka Those What Avoid Taking Sides – to be mobilised in defence of our right to be sociopathetic and antisocial. Together We TRASH TWATS will overcome.
If you care about keeping things unreal and ephemeral you will join us. Send £5 or a sheet of uncreased bubblewrap to email@example.com for a badge and a monogrammed antiseptic handiwipe and the Bloggers Bash 2016 will join marmite ice cream and edible socks in the rubbish bin of history.
Save the date.
11th June 2016.
Somewhere in London. We need you all to eradicate these excressences.