Glorious April when the magnolias flower – the garden beginning to explode with springiness..
I signed up for the A to Z blogging challenge for April, to see if I had the discipline. Here is the link and the rules. So I need a theme (well, it’s not strictly necessary but it does seem to be slightly de rigeur) and the indomitable spirit to post every day bar Sundays in April.
My theme (as you might guess from the title) is places. So why somewhere in Wales that I went to once as a boy scout and of which my only memory is one of my peers shoplifting and me having to run, helter-skelter, to avoid being wrongly done for a crime I did no more than tacitly aid and abet (though I will accept two charges of eating stolen goods)?
Limericks, that’s why. My Dad loved them. It was the earliest form of poetry that I understood and enjoyed. Dad loved people giving him a first line and he would complete the rest. He told me, as a youngster that the most difficult first line he had ever been given was
‘There was a young man from Aberystwyth’
And he followed it with something like this
‘Whose friends he’d go out to get pissed with
But his girl did reject him,
Saying, just to deject him:
‘These luscious lips, you’ll not be kissed with’
He managed some better ones…
On the subject of nose pickings…
‘Nose Pickings’ said Mrs McGraw
Have practical uses galore
By rolling and folding
And carefully moulding
You can make condoms, cheap, for the poor.’
Or when he saw a statue in our garden, which we inherited when we moved in,
A poet, cast in concrete
said, ‘I don’t wish to be indiscreet;
But it’s a bit of a sod,
Here on your tod
When the dogs piss on your feet.’
And while this many not have been his, it was a favourite for its fabulous non-rhyme
There was a young lady from Bude
Who went to swim in the lake
A man in a punt
Stuck a pole in her ear
And said, ‘You can’t swim here, it’s private’.
So what are your favourites? Cleaner? Cleverer? Or just ones that bring back silly memories?
TanGental 
Gorgeous spring pics! Love the limericks. I used to do them all the time when I was about ten. And I only saved about two and those are packed up in a box in storage. Your dad was quite the character, wasn’t he? That’s awesome.
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Indeed the old bugger would have liked the epithet ‘character’ pain in the proverbial actually but dearly loved all the same. As my mother memorably remarked, to everyone’s astonishment after some particularly egregious behaviour on Dad’s part ‘You know, Desmond, I now realise who it was who put the c*** in country gentleman’. Sorry, hope that doesn’t offend!
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Hahaha! Oh no. No offense at all. Terribly humorous. Well, epithet liked or not, it seems he was definitely someone I would have enjoyed meeting. Your mother, too. They were a pair. I enjoy hearing you talk about them.
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Thanks Jessica. Yes, you would. They loved nothing better than to be surrounded by lots of people having fun. Their parties were legendary, up to the point everyone was so drunk it all began to blur)
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I have not heard a lot of limericks in my life (I am not sure why) but I can imagine your dad’s penchant kept his kids in giggles!
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He did. Tis true. As kids there were a few ‘tee tum tee tums’ over the very rude bits
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Enjoying the start of your A to Z 🙂
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To his girl, said the sharp-eyed detective,
“It may be that my eyesight’s defective.
Has your east tit the least bit the best of your west tit?
Or is it the fault of perspective?”
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Not only brilliant but an utter joy of a tongue twister – shame my old dad isn’t around to enjoy that. One of your own? (the limerick, not the erm… gulp, sorry; I’ll stop now)
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No, I didn’t write the limerick. I’m not sure who did but it’s a good one 🙂
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well remembered!
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One limerick challenge I remember my father taking on, was to listen to the news on the radio, an create a limerick based on the stories, an election in Peru, funding for the Royal Opera House, developments in plastic surgery and a the work of a restorer of musical instruments. He came up with;
A plastic surgeon from Lima,
Thought opera the work of a screamer,
Said I long for a peal,
on my Glockenspiel.
But I fear I’m a bit of a dreamer.
Not bad for fifteen minutes work.
Though he could never create a limerick to his satisfaction about a female athlete. He had the punchline’
‘And shattered her personal best’
But the rest never came.
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What was the highly inappropriate one he liked about the Bishop of Gloucester? I know it was to do with young owls…
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Unknown provenance:
– A Young Man from United
There was a young man from United
Who was so extremely short sighted
With clinical control
He scored an own goal,
Which made City fans so delighted!
And not a limerick, but fun all the same:
In Memoriam Kenneth Wood, inventor of the “Kenwood” Mixer and the Reversible Toaster
So. Farewell then
Ken Wood.
Inventor of the
Reversible
Toaster.
Reversible the of
Inventor
Wood Ken.
Then farewell
So.
E.J. Thribb, inventor of the
Reversible Poem (½71)
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Love it; a poetic palindrome!
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You are reminding me of Pam Ayres, with all these limericks.
I have to vote for the garden statue one. What a classic. Would have done very well on “The Wheeltappers and Shunters Social Club”.
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Thanks for the mirth! I can see where you get your cleverness and your sense of humour from. What a clever dad! (Both of you!)
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He wss tremendous at a rhyme
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You’re not bad yourself!
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*blushes*
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I love the nose pickers one and read it out to my husband and we both laughed. Our son would love it except I’m not sure whether he knows what a condom is yet and I’m not sure whether I want him to know or not quite yet. Anyway, as long as he keeps picking his nose in public, he probably won’t be needing one!
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Dad did about five on nose pickings but this was my fav. He and my uncle used to send cards and poems to each other on the bogey theme. Such babies!
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I’m always said growing up is overrated. Your Dad sounds fabulous and your uncle for that matter. This was probably what people did before TV took over. My Great Great Aunt was a real character. She had a budgie called Romeo who was able to recite Shakespeare are appeared in the newspapers etc and a Kookaburra who appeared at charity events and used to be on the radio at the start of the news. She was very flamboyant and quite the actress although she owned an exclusive hairdressing salon and beauty business in Brisbane with clients like the Governor’s wife and General MacArthur’s wife.
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You are correct. Don’t grow up, it’s not worth the hassle.
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Limericks were always so fun because they were silly and naughty!
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