They seem to be a bit of a theme, given I’ve just posted the start of my novel in posts that is inspired by dogs. A while back I wrote this poem, having watched my then dog Blitz do his doggy thing. It’s a bit, well, scatological. Anyway see if it registers with you.
My dog
My dog really, really doesn’t like to crap on tarmac.
He holds himself on York stone,
Gravel sets his knees a’tremble
And decking acts as a constipator.
But a bit of mud, or better grass or leaves,
And he doesn’t hold back.
Then he runs away,
Sort of ashamed.
Unlike when he wees;
Then he stays to make sure he’s covered
Whatever smell was there before.
Little spurts really, like aftershave, placed carefully to cover the pongy bits.
Sometimes, when he’s checking the sniffs
To decide if it’s worth using up his
Uri-coating
He gets one that really hits the spot.
He’ll dribble and even lick it.
Brut for dogs.
Canine confectionary.
Can you imagine the outcry
If we let our offspring lick a stranger’s scent?
The health and safety implications
The wise commission to report,
The underemployed medics
To sit on daytime TV sofas and pontificate
On the physiological dangers of permitting licking
And the psychological threats of stopping licking:
Careers are founded on less.
Sniffing is an art form, requiring a particular angle of approach
Which is really not possible when on the lead.
It’s probably why he doesn’t like meeting other dogs when he’s on the lead;
It’s difficult to say hello properly if you’re constrained,
Like shaking hands with handcuffs on.
How can you circle, sniff the balls (or whatever)
Then go end to end.
Checking for today’s perfume,
Noses plugged into each other’s socket.
I often wonder what they mean when they say:
‘It’s a dog’s life’.
Good for them, I say;
Me, I always preferred shaking hands.
Not sure if this counts but I’m linking to Linda’s JusJoJan prompt. Neat idea Linda.
TanGental 
Hilarious!!!!!!
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so glad you’re commenting; makes it all worthwhile
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Hahaha! I love the poem. 🙂 Thanks for linking to JusJoJan, Geoff. 🙂
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Brilliant Geoff, it suits just fine!! It is a great idea I join in last year as well as this year too! xx I prefer to shake hands too!! 😉
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I love this! Like I always say to my kids, “Dogs have strange hobbies!”
You’ve captured it perfectly, here. So glad I found you right at the top of the list! =D
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thanks; love dogs but detest some habit.. like a few humans too!
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It’s lovely to read a poem on your blog again. I haven’t seen many (poems) for a while. Maybe I’ve just missed them! I think you’ve summed the doggie practices up just nicely! 🙂
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Thing is most of my poetry comes from a while back and I dig it out and think, not bad, but when I sit thinking I might write something, nothing occurs, or nothing I feel is worth while. I guess the muse will return but for now it is hidden.
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We all go through phases. You Are focussing elsewhere at the moment.
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There’s a funny Native American story that tells how dogs hold an election for their leader but upon failing to find that esteemed hound each and every dog to this day is committed to the search! Yep, shaking hands is better.
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Briliant!
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