Who put a real live toad in the hole…?

01- BAG - 002

Bristol Graduate

If you remember that lyric, you are officially old (like remembering the first episode of Doctor Who, or Geoff Hurst’s wining goal in 1966). Terry Scott was the artist and it is about brothers. The snooty, awkward, know all, controlling, often ignoring, first ever role model human that the younger sibling has.

02- BOX - 013

Bicycle repair man

02- BOX - 021

Can’t Geoff be the guy this year?

02- BOX - 024

Get on with it, dad!

Mine was all of those things and more; much more. He experimented, he created, he plotted and he took complete advantage of his shadow. And, looking back, I wouldn’t have changed it for the world; even the cracked tooth from the trapeze in the mouth, the countless humiliations and the devastating revelations concerning Santa and the tooth fairy.

02- BOX - 026

Caterham school boy, practicing to be a stork

04 - BOX - 006

If I keep leaning, he’ll soon fall over.

04 - BOX - 015

Ah ha, a hornet! Geoff, come and see this…

And still he has the ability to drop my jaw with his extraordinary memory and knowledge base (and bore me rigid two hours later because he’s still telling me all he knows). And for (and despite) all those foibles I would not change him now, either (I’ve tried; we’ve all tired – and failed so if you can’t beat him…).

04 - BOX - 029

And if I push it into his sciatic nerve…

05 BOX-003

If you don’t let go of my hand now, I’ll plant you in the compost heap…

05 BOX-012

Stupid git doesn’t realise how soon all that hair will be gone…

Families can be odd constructs, as likely to drive you to drink as bring a grin to your face. But, for me, the acid test is what happens when the chips are down. When a crisis looms. When our parents fell into their final illnesses, he was a constant – an uncomplaining ever present. We hadn’t had to work together for years – did we ever work as a team in those warring younger days? Only to gang up on our parents. But in 2004/5 and again in 2009/10 it worked; no discussions, it just worked. And two desperately painful situations were made that little bit easier by knowing he was there.

05 BOX-020

No, your knees are the stupidest.

05 BOX-009

I think the small one is dad; I’ll change him back later….

05 BOX-004

I told you – utterly harmless

The Archaeologist is 59 today, 2nd July; he’s aged, erm, as you’d expect. Happy Birthday Bruv.


Happy couple!

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published three anthologies of short stories and a memoir of my mother. More will appear soon. I will try and continue to blog regularly at geofflepard.com about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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11 Responses to Who put a real live toad in the hole…?

  1. Gordon Le Pard says:

    The Archaeologist responds
    Thanks bruv


  2. Gill Farmes says:

    Thoroughly enjoyed reading this one and seeing some of the old photos. Brought back a few memories. Thank you. Happy birthday to Gordon x


  3. willowdot21 says:

    OH! This is so lovely, you have had me in stitches!! Coming from a large family so much of what you said rings true! A beautiful tribute to your brother!! Happy birthday to him!


  4. Lisa Reiter says:

    Happy birthday Archeologist. Your brother normally has me laughing but today I’m a little misty eyed!


  5. Norah says:

    Its wonderful that you were able to work together as a team when needed. There’s nothing wrong with a little sibling rivalry fun at other times. Lovely to see the appreciation and regard you have for each other. Happy (belated) birthday to the archaeologist!


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